The Confessional
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I
have sinned."
"What is it, child?"
"Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at
myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."
The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I
have good news. That isn't a sin it's only a mistake."
(^_^) -------- (^_^) -------- (^_^) -------- (^_^)
(^_^) Service Fees (^_^)
A parish priest was sitting in a lawyer's office, when he
asked, "Is it true that you do not charge members of the
clergy for your services?"
"I'm sorry, Father, but you've been misinformed," the
lawyer replied. "Those in your profession can look forward
to a reward in the next world. We lawyers, on the other
hand, must take ours in this one."
(^_^) -------- (^_^) -------- (^_^) -------- (^_^)
(^_^) Quickies (^_^)
Pastor's Announcement Before Offering: "I would like to remind you that what you are about to give is deductible, cannot be taken with you and is considered in the Bible that the love of this is the root of all evil."
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A five year old was discussing Noah's Ark with Grandma. Grandma asked, "How many animals went into the Ark?"
The youngster replied: "One mail and one e-mail.
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During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church, asked: "Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?"
Gary answered soberly: "I asked God to teach me to whistle ... And He just then did!"
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
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A little girl was given two dollars by her father. He told her that she could do anything she wanted with the one dollar and that the other dollar was to be given to God on Sunday at church. The girl nodded in agreement and asked if she could go to the candy store. With visions of all that she could buy with her dollar, she happily skipped toward the store, holding tightly to the two dollars in her hand. As she skipped along, she tripped and fell and the wind blew one of her dollars into a storm drain at the curve. Picking herself up, the little girl looked at the dollar still in her hand and then at the storm drain and said, "Well Lord, there goes your dollar."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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