Quote from Forum Archives on July 11, 2004, 4:12 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

 

Please pray for Niki as she has had another massive stroke and is in very serious condition and is now on life supports. Please hold her up in prayers and add her to any prayer lists you can add her to.

Thank you.

 

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The First Mom    

 

 

The first Jewish President of the United States calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down for Thanksgiving. She says, "I'd like to, but it's so much trouble. I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport and I hate waiting on Queens Blvd..."

He replies, "Mom! I'm the President! You won't need a cab. I'll send a limousine for you!"

His mother replies, "I know, but then I'll have to get my ticket at the airport and try to get a seat on the plane, and I hate to sit in the middle... it's just too much trouble."

He replies, "Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One for you - it's my private jet!"

To which she replies, "Oh, well, but then when we land, I'll have to carry my luggage through the airport and try to get a cab... it's really too much trouble."

He replies, "Mom!! I'm the President! I'll send a helicopter for you! You won't have to lift a finger."

She answers, "Yes, that's nice... but, you know, I still need a hotel room, and the rooms are so expensive and I really don't like the rooms..."

Exasperated, he answers, "Mom! I'm the President! You'll stay at the White House!"

She responds, "Well...all right...I guess I'll come."

The next day, she's on the phone with her friend Betty. "Hello, Sylvia...so what's new?"

Sylvia: "I'm visiting my son for Thanksgiving!"

Betty: "The doctor?"

Sylvia: "No ... the other one."

Why English Is So Hard To Learn  

1 The bandage was wound around the wound.

2 The farm was used to produce produce.

3 The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4 We must polish the Polish furniture.

5 He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6 The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7 Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.

8 A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9 When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10 I did not object to the object.

11 The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12 There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13 They were too close to the door to close it.

14 The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15 A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16 To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17 The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18 After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19 Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20 I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21 How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

 

 

10 Commandments of Email  

 

 

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.

Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needest.

Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sendest it.

Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.

Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.

Thou shalt not curse, flame, spam or USE ALL CAPS.

Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.

Thou shalt not use e-mail for any illegal or unethical purpose.

Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of e-mail, especially from work.

When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.

 

And, here's the "Golden Rule" of E-Mail:
That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.

 

 

Have a Blessed Day 

Dave and Barbara 

 

        

 

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