The First Parent
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing God said to them was: "Don't" "Don't what?" Adam asked.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit," said God.
"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?" Adam and Eve asked jumping up and down excitedly." "It's over there," said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and he was very angry. "Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" The First Parent asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you do it?" God asked exasperatedly.
"I dunno, " Adam answered.
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
But there is a reassurance in this story. If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give your children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be so hard on yourself. If God had trouble handling his children, what makes you think it should be a piece of cake for you?
9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons!
8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!
7. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego! I told you never to play with fire!
6. Cain! Get off your brother! You're going to kill him some day!
5. Noah! No, you can't keep them! I told you, don't bring home any more strays!
4. Gideon! Have you been hiding in that wine press again? Look at your clothes! (Judges 6:11)
3. James and John! No more burping contests at the dinner table, please. People are going to call you the sons of thunder! (Mark 3:17)
2. Judas! Have you been in my purse again?!
And the number one biblical saying of mothers is:
1. Jesus! Stop working on that old wood and come in and eat! You'd spend your life on that wood, if your father asked ya to!
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
| Normal Subscribe: | clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org |
| Normal Unsubscribe: | clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org |
| Web Subscribe: | clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org |
| Web Unsubscribe: | clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org |
| Email Group Owner: | clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org |