The Golfer Wednesday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
The Golfer
Golfer Arnold Palmer once played a series of exhibition
matches in Saudi Arabia. The king was so impressed that
he proposed to give Palmer a gift. Palmer demurred; “It really
isn’t necessary, Your Highness. I’m honored to have been
invited.”
“I would be deeply upset,” replied the king, “if you would
not allow me to give you a gift.”
Palmer thought for a moment and said, “All right. How
about a golf club? That would be a beautiful memento of
my visit to your country.”
The next day, delivered to Palmer’s hotel, was the title to a
golf club. Thousands of acres, trees, lakes, clubhouse, and
so forth.
The moral of this story is this – in the presence of a King,
don’t ask for small gifts! We serve the God of the universe,
and yet we worry about the little bit of dirt under our feet!
Jesus Christ bore prophetic and painfully real stripes on His
back, yet we are timid to ask for our healing! He owns the
cattle on a thousand hills, but we feel embarrassed to believe
for our needs to be met.
The Bible says that God shall supply all our needs according
to His riches in Glory! Come boldly before His throne! He
desires to bless His children! Dream big dreams, and do great
things for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords!
LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is
yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since
it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of
a tournament, a summer and eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost
immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of
the latter increases with the number of people you tell about
the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though
this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the
more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play.
If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and
should be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all
his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up,"
or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified
he deems himself as an instructor.
LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire
to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its
desire.
LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known
to man.
LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.
LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way
it works against you?
LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point
from the clubhouse.
LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger
than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally
hit into will consist of a football player, a professional
wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent ... or some
similar combination.
LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one
another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (see Law
three)
LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt."
Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss
an easy one, sucker."
LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always
be the one who beats you.
LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically
adjust your score to what it really should be.
LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only
until the sunset of the same day.
The Equipment
As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was
responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners
at the end of the season. When I walked into the surgery
department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the
surgeons, I passed several patients and their families
in a waiting area.
I heard one man say to his wife, "Look, honey, here comes
your anesthesiologist."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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