The Ham Sandwich
Posted by: <@...>
MI. whose wife just had an infant 3-5 months ago. It is self-explanatory...
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun,
crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The
corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table
in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife who
was suddenly at my side.
"Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said. I
had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again
for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers. I
love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off.
It was not mustard. No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first
and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth
in each hand I did the sort of routine shoeshine vendors do, only I did it
on my tongue.
Later, (after she stopped crying from laughing so hard) my wife said, "Now
you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon."