Quote from Forum Archives on December 2, 2003, 10:05 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

~ ** ~ The Hotel Is Full ~ ** ~

 

 A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full."
      
      The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies."
      
      The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."
      
      Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you know I converted to your religion."
      
      The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?"
      
      Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem."
      
      "Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
      
      Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
      
      "That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?"
      
      Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"

 

 

~ ** ~ What Not To Put On Your Resume ~ ** ~ 

 

      

1. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet
pogroms."
2. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
9. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
10. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No
commitments."
11. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
12. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to
respond to my resume on my office voice mail."
13. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no
training in Meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
14. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
15. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
16. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain
store."
17. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping". "
I have never quit a job."
18. "Marital status: often. Children: various."
19. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous
employers."
20. "Finished eighth in class of ten."
21. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."

~ ** ~ New Perfume ~ ** ~ 

     

After years of using the same perfumes, I decided to try something
different and settled on a light, citrusy fragrance.

 

The next day I was surprised when it was my little boy, not my
husband, who first noticed the change.

 

As he put his arms around me, he declared, "Wow, Mom, you smell
just like Fruit Loops!"

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
 
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
 
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org