Quote from Forum Archives on February 2, 2007, 8:55 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"The Inspection"

 

A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer.

 

"I'm going to inspect your farm."

 

The old farmer said, "You better not go in that field."

 

The Ag representative said in a wise tone, "I have the authority of the U. S. Government with me. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land."

 

So, the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Department of Agriculture rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a full nest of hornets and the bull was gaining at every step.

 

The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!"

"History Class"

 

 

Mrs. Scheck, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was
Rome built?" and called on Timothy to answer first.

 

"Rome was built at night." was his answer.

 

"At night?" asked Mrs. Scheck, holding her ruler firmly in her
hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"

 

"Well," gulped the student, hoping his answer would satisfy
her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built in a day."

 

"RESULTS GET REWARDED"

 

 

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

 

Saint Peter says to this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

 

The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City."

 

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

 

The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn.

 

He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."

 

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

 

"Just a minute!" says the minister. "That man was a taxi driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"

 

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept. While he drove, people prayed."

 

 

Have a Blessed Weekend
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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