The Magician and The Parrot
Posted by: <@...>
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience
would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the
same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week
and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he
understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat."
"Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table."
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the
captain's parrot.
One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself
floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of
course.
They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word. This went
on for a day and another and another.
After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"
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Medical Records
The following quotes were taken from actual medical records, as dictated
by physicians:
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was
feeling better.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had
completely disappeared.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to
dispose of him.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.