The Positive Side of Life
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.
How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.
Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.
Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?
Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.
If WalMart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?
You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.
Some mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.
Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.
We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.
A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Have an awesome day, and
know that someone
who thinks you're great
has thought about you today!..
"And that person was me.".....
Please don't keep this message
to yourself.....send it to those
who mean so much to you.... "NOW"
***************
Losing Weight
"I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight
patient who wanted to lose weight without exercising.
"How often do I have to swallow one?" replied the patient."Oh....I don't
want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick
them up, one at a time."
***************
Lost Ear
Two fellows named Gus and Simon, were working with wood.
Gus accidently got too close to the saw, and sawed off his ear.
His ear fell off and landed down a few feet into some sawdust.
Simon said he would go look for it.
He found it and brought it up to Gus.
Gus replied " That isn't my ear, I had a pencil behind it.
***************
Like A Baby
Two elderly gentlemen at a retirement center are sitting on a bench under a
tree when one turns to the other and says, "Sam, I'm 83 years old now and
I'm just full of aches and pains; I know you're about my age, how do you
feel?"
Sam says, "Well, I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really; like a newborn baby?"
"Yep; no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet myself."
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter
from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you
receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than
me, has forwarded it to you.
Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org