Quote from Forum Archives on April 27, 2006, 2:43 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

  "Things kids Say"

 

    

   TEACHER:       Maria, go to the map and find North America.
   MARIA:           Here it is.
   TEACHER:       Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
   CLASS:            Maria.
   __________________________________________
   TEACHER:    Why are you late, Frank?
   FRANK:         Because of the sign.
   TEACHER:    What sign?
   FRANK:        The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
   _________________________________
   TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
   JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.
   __________________________________________
   TEACHER:    Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
   GLENN:             K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
   TEACHER:        No, that's wrong
   GLENN:             Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
   _______________________________________________
   TEACHER:       Donald, what is! the chemical formula for water?
   DONALD:         H I J K L M N O.
   TEACHER:       What are you talking about?
   DONALD:        Yesterday,you said it's H to O.
   __________________________________
   TEACHER:       Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
   WINNIE:            Me!
   __________________________________________
   TEACHER:      Gus, why do you always get so dirty?
   GUS:             'Cause I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
   _______________________________________
   TEACHER:       Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
   MILLIE:              I is...
   TEACHER:       Interrupting ---No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
   MILLIE:             All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."    
   _________________________________
   TEACHER:       George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?
   LOUIS:   Because George still had the ax in his hand.
   ______________________________________
   
   TEACHER:       Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
   CLYDE:             No, teacher, it's the same dog.
   ___________________________________
   TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
   HAROLD:        A teacher.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the
movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."
The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him
wide-eyed.

 

In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused
the submarine to sink?"

 

With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000
leaks!! "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother,
"Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."

 

The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said. "How do you make babies?"

 

"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change "y" to "i" and add
"es."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"
Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.

 

The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."

 

The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
pregnant means?" she asked.
Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson on e morning.
He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in
her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little
green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men
doing in my coffee?"

 

Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up
is soldiers in your cup!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Professor Jackson was known for being an easy grader.  The grades
he gave for a survey course (i. e. the type where you are expected to
learn generalities and not specifics) were based entirely on two exams,
and the stuff on the exams was entirely covered in the textbook.  So
showing up for class wasn't a big deal.

 

However, this started to get out of hand.  As word of the course
spread, at each s emester, there was a larger block of students who would
show up infrequently or not at all, except for the exam days.  Finally,
it got so bad that about half of the students one term never showed
before the midterm!  On the day of the midterm, everyone came in and a
graduate assistant handed out exams, "Prof. Jackson is sick, so he asked
me to give you your exams."

 

There was only one question in the exam booklets: "Which one of
the ten pictures below is of Professor Jackson?"

 

Obviously, the students who never showed up didn't know and had to
guess. Many failed, while the students who had been showing up regularly
got A's!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed pa st. Sitting in the front seat of
the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the
dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close..."They use the dogs," she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

 

"Hijacked"

 

 

A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked, "What's the problem, Carol? I hope it's not homework again." 

"Well, uh, yes, it is." replied Carol. "I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane."

"Carol, you're right, that wasn't a very bright thing to do," said the teacher, "but this once I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in."

"Oh, but that won't work," said Carol, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked."

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

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