Things You Don't Want to Hear
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Regaining Consciousness:
"I don't know what it is, but hurry up
and pack it in ice."
"Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that one,
he's still moving."
"Blink once for 'yes'".
"What do you mean we have the wrong
patient?"
"Why is there a tag on his toe?"
"Do you think he can hear us?"
"I didn't even know a human could bend
that way."
"Hold the patient still, we've almost pried
it open."
"Did the doctor know he would look like
that afterward?"
"Nurse, make sure you're getting all this
down. It'll make a great 'ER' script."
Pupils at school were asked to write about the harmfull effects of oil on
fish. One 11-year old wrote:
"When my mum opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all
the sardines were dead."
Think about it
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny" for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV? Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
<><> Press Bloopers <><>
He left for a vacation at his lodge, taking his favorite two great dames with him.
Rev. Hammond was congratulated on being able to get his parish plastered.
His left thumb, which was shot away, is doing nicely.
Weve got fifty yankettes married into English nobility right now.
Some of them are duchesses. Some are countesses. Eleven are baronesses.
Only one is a lady.
The font so generously presented by Mrs. Smith will be set in position at the east end of the Church.
Babies may now be baptised at both ends.
The church is now forming a Little Mothers Club. All women desiring to become Little Mothers
are asked to meet with the pastor in his study after services.
Dr. Gilbert Murray, O.M., will celebrate his ninetieth birthday quietly at his home at Boars Hill, near Oxford, tomorrow, with his wife, Lady Mary Murray. They have been married 66 years.
This evening he is to broadcast in the BBC Home Service a talk called "Unfinished Battle."
A loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of the members in memory of his wife.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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