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"Three Gifts" Thursday

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

Special Note:
 
We will be going on vacation tomorrow  and there will be no Clean Hewmor Papers sent untill  we return.  We will resume sending on Monday March 14th. Please keep us in prayer as we travel.

 

"Three Gifts"
 
 
Walking along the beach, John tripped over a half buried kerosene lantern.  He rubbed its side and sure enough, a genie materialized.  

"I can't grant your wishes," explained the freed spirit, "But I'll give you three gifts for releasing me:  a potion to cure ill health, a very large diamond and a dinner date with a famous movie star.  By tomorrow afternoon, you will have received all these gifts."

When John returned home from work the next evening, he excitedly asked his mother if anything had been delivered.

"Yes," she replied.  "It's been an unusual day.  At 2 pm, a 55-gallon drum of chicken soup arrived.  About a half-hour later, a telegram came saying that a long-lost relative had left you a minor-league baseball stadium.  Ten minutes ago, MGM called, inviting you to dinner with Lassie tonight." 


"MY MIRROR AND ME"
 
Mirror, mirror on the wall
You're not playing fair at all
I'm really now upset with you
For giving your distorted view

You show my hair is turning gray
It's just the way the shadows play
I know that you're not hanging straight
To make me look so over weight

The way you show a double chin
Is just the way the light comes in
I think I'm fine, but you're so wise
To put such accent on my thighs.

I wish you'd try to be my friend
And tell me I'm a little thin
Just tell me I look good in jeans
And frilly shirts and pretty things.

Please don't let the wrinkles show
I'd like to have a pretty glow
I see you won't respond at all
So I'll just tear you off the wall.


 
"Little Johnny"
 
 

A first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented
with their desk computers.  One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure
how to get the computer going.

The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen.  In her most
reassuring voice, she said, "The computer wants to know what your name
is," then she walked over to the next child.

The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered, "My name is Little
Johnny."


 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 
"A happy heart is like good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22)
 

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