Quote from Forum Archives on May 1, 2006, 3:19 pm

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Ticket Purchase"

 

 

A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz.

 

Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.

 

Finally they reached the ticket window.

 

"Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."

 

 

"Too Difficult"

 

 

Two bachelors were talking. One said to the other, "I got a
cookbook the other day, but I can't do any of the recipes."

 

"Why? Are they too difficult?" asked the second.

 

"No," the first replied. "It's just that they all start with
the same thing: 'Take a clean dish...'"

 

 

"First Graders"

 

 

A first grade school teacher in Virginia had twenty-five students in her
class.  She  presented each child in her classroom the first half of a
well  known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

 

It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.   Their
insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are
first  graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

 

1. Don't change horses..........................until they stop running.

 

2. Strike while the...............................bug is close.

 

3. It's always darkest before...................Daylight Saving Time.

 

4. Never underestimate the power of .......termites.

 

5. You can lead a horse to water but ........ how?

 

6. Don't bite the hand that ................looks dirty.

 

7. No news is.....................................impossible.

 

8. A miss is as good as a .................... Mr.

 

9. You can't teach an old dog new .......... math.

 

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ......stink in the morning.

 

11. Love all, trust .................. me.

 

12. The pen is mightier than the..................pigs.

 

13. An idle mind is........................... the best way to relax.

 

14. Where there's smoke there's ............pollution.

 

15. Happy the bride who........................gets all the presents.

 

16. A penny saved is .............. not much

 

17. Two's company, three's .................. the Musketeers

 

18. Don't put off till tomorrow what .......... you put on to go to bed.

 

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and|...... you have to blow your nose.

 

20. There are none so blind as ............ Stevie Wonder.

 

21. Children should be seen and not ......... spanked or grounded.

 

22. If at first you don't succeed ................ get new batteries.

 

23. You get out of something only what you ...|... see in the picture on the box.       

 

24. When the blind lead the blind ............ get out of the way.

 

25. Better late than.................................... pregnant

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

 

Necessary Legal Information

 

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

 

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
       
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org 
     
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

 

  Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take  a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh!  --  To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org  To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>