Todays Funnies
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Why is it that a man can climb the highest
mountain, swim the widest ocean, fight the
strongest tiger, but once he's married, he can
barely take out the garbage?
Received from: Sunday Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Fred Forgets~~
"Fred forgets everything!" the sales manager
complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he
can sell anything. I asked him to pick me up some
sandwiches on his way back from lunch, and I'm
not sure he'll even remember to come back."
Just then the door flew open, and in bounced
Fred....
"You'll never guess what happened!" he
shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man
Spencer, who hasn't bought anything from
us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he
gave me this half-million dollar order!"
"See that..." sighed the sales manager to his
secretary. "I told you he'd forget the
sandwiches."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~Utensil Rejection~~
My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese
restaurant.
When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our
places, Ann made a point of reaching into her
purse and pulling out her own pair.
"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do
not approve of destroying bamboo forests for
throwaway utensils."
The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very
beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~OPEN MOUTH, INSERT FOOT~~
At the outpatient surgery center where I work,
the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients
before their operations to help them relax.
One day he thought he recognized a woman as a
co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.
When the patient confirmed that his hunch was
correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still
as bad there as it used to be?"
"Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still
cooking it."
Have a Blessed day
Dave and Barbara
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