Quote from Forum Archives on August 26, 2003, 3:30 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 

<><> Too Many Mistakes <><>

 

Jimmy's English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded
the very best of his pupils. So it was only to be expected
that he would get furious when Little Jimmy handed in a
poor paper.

 

"This is the worst essay it has ever been my misfortune to
read," ranted the teacher. "It has too many mistakes.
I can't understand how one person would have made all
these mistakes."

 

"One person didn't," replied Little Jimmy defensively.
"My father helped me."

 

:~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~)

 

<><> Pastor's Bloopers <><>

A lawyer-preacher leading a prayer before the service, made rountine opening remarks. As he started on a special plea, he began, "Your Honor," instead of "Dear God."

I was trying to make a point that lack of communication is the major cause of divorce, but somehow things got mixed up and I said ‘marriage’ was the main cause of divorce.

Preaching from:

Matthew 5: "A hill set on a city cannot be hid."

Matthew 12: "as Jonah was in the welly of the bell."

Matthew 2: "they offered unto him gifts, gold, and Frankenstien."

During a Confirmation service, referring to the new converts, the pastor asked the 5 new "convicts" to come to the front of the church. He never knew what he said, but several people had to leave the building because they were laughing so hard.

As I awoke during a sermon the pastor said, "Where the scriptures speak, we speak. Where the scriptures are silent, we sleep."

While studying the intricate dress of the priests in the Old Testament, the preacher came to the part that describes how the priests put bells on the bottom of their robes. He asked, "Why do you suppose the priests had to tinkle." After a second of silence, the class broke up with laughter.

:~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~):~) :~) :~)

<><> Sit Down Humor <><>

We did something to the lovely Training Officer in our IT Support office. We
took a pressure sensitive musical button from a greetings card and placed it
inside the seat of her office chair. It took her (and the current IT
Manager) several days before we could contain ourselves no longer.

She would sit down and it would start playing. She would comment that it was
stupid having the 'Hockey-Cockey' as a mobile phone ring-tone. She would
stand up and it play again - and ask where on earth was that noise coming
from. The IT Manager would sit in the seat and then run out the room to the
computer rooms to find the student who wasn't answering their mobile.

Oh the fun we had with something so simple.

:~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~) :~)

Have a Blessed Day

Dave and Barbara

 

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