Top 10 Sayings Of Biblical Mothers
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
10. Samson! Get your hand out of that lion. You don't know where it's been!
(Judges 14:5-8)
9. David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons!
8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!
7. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego! I told you never to play with fire!
6. Cain! Get off your brother! You're going to kill him some day!
5. Noah! No, you can't keep them! I told you, don't bring home any more strays!
4. Gideon! Have you been hiding in that wine press again? Look at your clothes!
(Judges 6:11)
3. James and John! No more burping contests at the dinner table, please. People are going to call you the sons of thunder! (Mark 3:17)
2. Judas! Have you been in my purse again?!
1. Jesus! Stop working on that old wood and come in and eat! You'd spend your life on that wood, if your father asked ya to!
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x
Tension
There was a church where the preacher and the song leader were not getting along. This began to spill over into the worship service.
One week the preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The song leader then led the song, "I Shall Not Be Moved".
The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The song leader then led the song, "Jesus Paid It All".
The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The song leader then led the song, "I Love To Tell The Story".
The preacher became very disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The song leader then led the song, "Oh, Why Not Tonight".
As it came to pass, the preacher resigned and the next week informed the church that it was Jesus that led him there and it was Jesus that was taking him away. The song leader then led the song, "What A Friend We Have in Jesus".
x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x*x
Gladys
There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.
After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."
And the gentleman replied, " You're not the only one ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
I do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from me it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than me, has forwarded it to you.
Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org