A holy man will…endeavor to set his affections entirely on things above, and to hold things on earth with a very loose hand. He will not neglect the business of the life that now is; but the first place in his mind and thoughts will be given to the life to come. He will aim to live like one whose treasure is in heaven, and to pass through this world like a stranger and pilgrim traveling to his home.
J.C. Ryle

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TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GETTING OLD

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2,360 Posts
#1 · September 16, 2003, 7:55 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 
<><> Top Ten Ways To Know If You Are Getting Old <><>
 
1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.

2. It takes twice as long to look half as good.
3. Your idea of weightlifting is standing up.
4. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
5. When happy hour is a nap.
6. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
7. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it moving.
8. At breakfast you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
9. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.
10. When you wake up looking like your drivers license picture.
 

 
<><> New Church Bloopers <><> 
 
Sermon Outline:
I. Delineate your fear
II. Disown your fear
III. Displace your rear

Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection basket.
Nov. 11: An evening of boweling at Lincoln Country Club.
Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.
Karen's beautiful solo: "It is Well With My Solo."
Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.
If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.
Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."
Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer.
Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight.
Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's Cathedral.
The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church boared.
As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.
Fifth Sinday is Lent.
Thank you, dead friends.
Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
Lent is a period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter.
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits.
For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit.
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men.
Definition: Persons who are shut-in during bath weather.
Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas.
The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working.
Volunteers are needed to spit up food.
Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess
We pray that our people will jumble themselves.
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 

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