Train Day Tuesday
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
A large two-engine train was crossing the country. After they had gone some distance, one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement, "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly."
The inspector asked him this question: "What would you do if you saw 2 trains heading for each other on the SAME track?
Andy said," I would switch the points for one of the trains."
"What if the lever broke?", asked the inspector.
"Then I'd dash down to the signal box", said Andy. "and use the manual lever there."
"What if lightning struck it?' asked the inspector.
"Then..." Andy continued, "I'd run back into signal box & phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was engaged?"
"Well.....in that case," persevered Andy, " I'd rush down out of the box & use the PUBLIC emergency phone at the level of the crossing up there..."
"What would you do if THAT was vandalized?"
"Oh, well then I'd run into the village & get my Uncle Brown."
This puzzled the Inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that???"
"Because he's never seen a train wreck !! "
Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train.
"The next train is in one hour," said the stationmaster.
The three went back into the bar. The parents had another drink; Blake had a Pepsi.
Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away.
"Next one is sixty minutes from now!" said the stationmaster.
An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously.
"Your parents just left you," said the stationmaster. "Why are you laughing?"
"They came to see me off!"
to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walking again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did
we catch up with the cow?"
Cassie was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio to Washington, DC.
A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks***, something neither had ever seen before. Cassie bought each one a bag.
The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his brother and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?" replied the curious brother
"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
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