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"Valentine Dream" Monday
#1 · February 14, 2005, 10:51 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Valentine's Day is a very special day indeed. A day to share a loving message with your sweetheart or to finally say those magic words to someone you've fallen for and to share a warm thought with your loved ones, so that you can say "Happy Valentines Day."
We wish each of you a Happy Valentine's Day.
Dave and Barbara
"Valentine Dream"
A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day! What do you think it means?"
With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."
That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled - "The meaning of Dreams".
"Valentine Jokes"
Q: Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?
A: Because it's all heart.
Q: What do squireels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
A: Because it's all heart.
Q: What do squireels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the letter say to the stamp?
A: You send me.
A: You send me.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.
A: I'm stuck on you.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.
A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What is a ram's favorite song?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, Dear
A: I only have eyes for ewe, Dear
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.
A: A stamp.
Q: What does an envelope say when you lick it?
A: Nothing, it shuts up.
A: Nothing, it shuts up.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a french chef?
A: You get buttered up.
A: You get buttered up.
Q: What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?
A: One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.
A: One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A: Antelope.
A: Antelope.
"A Redneck Valentine"
Kudzu is green,
my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
And without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
Which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
But I luv you anyway.
You're as graceful as okry
Jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop
Right out of the can.
You have all yore teeth,
For which I am proud;
I hold my head high
When we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
When you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
I'm plumb outta my wits.
Still them fellers at work
They all want to know,
What I did to deserve
Such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
Yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles
And stick 'em in the can.
Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler
Racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger
Named Naomi Judd.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
A-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no fire ant
Upon which I oft' tread.
Cut from the best pattern
Like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life
Like a Rattletrap shad.
When you hold me real tight
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years,
Yore age, it keeps hidin'.
And when you get old
Like a '57 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks
And let grass grow up heavy.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
With a RC cold drank,
We go together
Like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
For Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
They explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
These will not do.
For you are too special,
You sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
Without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds
it's a new trollin' motor.
my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
And without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
Which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
But I luv you anyway.
You're as graceful as okry
Jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop
Right out of the can.
You have all yore teeth,
For which I am proud;
I hold my head high
When we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
When you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
I'm plumb outta my wits.
Still them fellers at work
They all want to know,
What I did to deserve
Such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
Yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles
And stick 'em in the can.
Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler
Racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger
Named Naomi Judd.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
A-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no fire ant
Upon which I oft' tread.
Cut from the best pattern
Like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life
Like a Rattletrap shad.
When you hold me real tight
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years,
Yore age, it keeps hidin'.
And when you get old
Like a '57 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks
And let grass grow up heavy.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
With a RC cold drank,
We go together
Like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
For Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
From a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
They explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
These will not do.
For you are too special,
You sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
Without taste nor odor,
Better than diamonds
it's a new trollin' motor.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
"A happy heart is like good medicine" (Proverbs 17:22)
"For God so loV ed the world,
That He gA ve
His onL y
BegottE n
SoN
T hat whosever
Believeth I n Him
Should N ot perish,
But have E verlasting life."
John 3:16
That He gA ve
His onL y
BegottE n
SoN
T hat whosever
Believeth I n Him
Should N ot perish,
But have E verlasting life."
John 3:16
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