Weirdos
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A man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50 AM, flashed a gun
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
away.
KENTUCKY WEIRDO(s)
Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the
machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel
off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they
left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine.
With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license
plate still attached to the bumper.
WEIRDOS RETAIL
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed
that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me
that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I
asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the
credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the
credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one
I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
ADVICE FOR WEIRDOS
An actual tip from page 16 of the Hewlett Packard "Environmental, Health Safety
Handbook for Employees:"Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
WEIRDOS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign
on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer
wanted them to cross there.
WEIRDOS ARE EASY TO PLEASE
I was sitting in my science class when the teacher commented that the next day
would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited,
cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes,
not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
WEIRDOS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg.
A WEIRDO'S WEIRDO
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy
button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing
the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
A LOUISIANA WEIRDO
A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for
change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked
for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man
took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.
AN ARKANSAS WEIRDO
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a
cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he
lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder
block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole
event was caught on videotape.
NEW YORK HAS A FEW WEIRDOS
As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran.
The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed
description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police had apprehended the
snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was
then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which
he replied "Yes, Officer .. that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
SEATTLE SIPHON WEIRDO
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle
street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to
find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his
hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.