What a Teacher Says and What he/she *Really* Means Monday
Posted by: Bigguyhereagain <Bigguyhereagain@...>
Really means: He was caught cheating on a test.
2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and vitability.
Really means: The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes.
3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.
Really means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.
4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high expectations don't intimidate her.
Really means: The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all quarter.
5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination.
Really means: The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away.
6. Nick thrives on interaction with his peers.
Really means: Your son needs to stop socializing and start working.
7. Your daughter's greatest asset is her demonstrative public discussions.
Really means: Classroom lawyer! Why is it that every time I explain an assignment she creates a class argument.
8. John enjoys the thrill of engaging challenges with his peers.
Really means: He's a bully.
9. An adventurous nature lover who rarely misses opportunities to explore new territory.
Really means: Your daughter was caught skipping school at the fishing pond.
10. I am amazed at her tenacity in retaining her youthful personality.
Really means: She's so immature that we've run out of diapers.
11. Unlike some students who hide their emotion, Charles is very expressive and open.
Really means: He must have written the Whiner's Guide.
12. I firmly believe that her intellectual and emotional progress would be enhanced through a year's repetition of her learning environment.
Really means: Regretfully, we believe that she is not ready for high school and must repeat the 8th grade.
13. Her exuberant verbosity is awesome.
Really means: A mouth that never stops yacking.
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in strings
These are a few of my favorite things.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak,
When the bones creak,
when the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things
and then I don't feel so bad.
Back pains, confused brains and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin'
We go on smilin' and laughin and grinnin'
And keep on remembering our favorite things.
When joints ache, when hips break,
When eyes grow dim,
I'll just remember the great life I've had
And then I don't feel soooo bad.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has
just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to
round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of
breath not a problem.
SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises,
the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type,
let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet
times.
WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth
seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the
cob and caramel candy.
MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through
Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday,
let's put our two heads together.
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