What My Dad Taught Me
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
It is your birthday and on this day,
we want you to know that you are a very
special person who has touched and warmed
many lives, ours probably the most.
We also want you to know how much we appreciate you .
Have a very Happy Birthday Carol!
Dave and Barbara
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What My Dad Taught Me
My Dad taught me
TO DO THE JOB RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL.
"If you're going to kill each other,
do it outside. You weren't raised in a barn!"
My Dad taught me about INDIVIDUALISM.
"I bet if all your friends jumped off a bridge, you would too!
My Dad taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."
My Dad taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your mother!"
My Dad taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm
going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My Dad taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
My Dad taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told
you a million times - Don't exaggerate!!!"
My Dad taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something
to cry about!"
My Dad taught me about THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world,
and I can take you out!"
My Dad taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
My Dad taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
My Dad taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that food is finished!"
My Dad taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS.
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you;
would you listen then?"
My Dad taught me about WEATHER.
"It looks like a tornado swept
through your room!"
Thanks for teaching me about life Dad!
**************
Three Stages
There are three stages
in a father's life -
1."My Daddy can whip your Daddy..."
2."Aw, Dad, you don't know anything..."
3."My father used to say..."
**************
Free Trip
Clarisa (age 7), was not really excited about going
to Sunday school, but her little friend talked her into it.
After the first class, she said, "I like my teacher, and
she said if I come to Sunday school every Sunday,
she'll show me how I can get a free trip to heaven."
**************
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
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