Repenting is neither more nor less than crying out to God in Christ, “Lord be merciful to me, a sinner.” Believing is rejoicing in the faithfulness of His promise, that as we so repent, we go home justified. It is not the depth and power of your repentance that earns God’s favor. None of us repent as deeply as we ought, and so must ever repent for the weakness of our repentance. But Jesus came to save sinners.
R.C. Sproul Jr.

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Where Professionals Go On Vacation

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#1 · October 23, 2003, 8:42 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

 
*** Where Professionals Go On Vacation ***
 
Artists: Painted Desert, Arizona
Athletes: Olympia Heights, Florida
Candy Makers: Carmel, Indiana
College Professors: University City, Missouri
Ecologists: Green Bay Wisconsin
Firefighters: Smokey Mountains
Geologists: Stone Mountain, Georgia
Gossip Columnists: Grapevine, Texas
Helicopter Pilots: Hoover, Alabama
Home Builders: New Castle, Pennsylvania
Jewelers: Pearl City, Hawaii
Landscapers: Garden City, Michigan
Lawyers: Accident, Maryland
Loan Officers: Fairbanks, Alaska
Lumber Jacks: Thousand Oaks, California
Manicurists: Finger Lakes, New York
Optometrists: Plainview, New York
Pastors: Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Pianists: Florida Keys
Podiatrists: Arches National Park, Utah
Politicians: Dodge City, Kansas
Real Estate Salesmen: Loveland, Colorado
Refrigerator Repairmen: Chilum, Maryland
Retired Army Officers: East Point, Georgia
Sailors: Marina, California
Sheriffs: Marshalltown, Iowa
Tree Trimmers: Long Branch, New Jersey
TV Evangelists: Paradise, California
*** Sarah The Church Busy Body ***
 
  
 
Sarah, the church gossip and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
 
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
 
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend or deny -- he said nothing.    Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Sarah's house and left it there all night....
 
 
*** Sudden Death ******
 
 
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. "We will all die some day," the leader of the discussion said, "and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event." Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment.
"What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day?" the leader asked the group.
 
"For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted Jesus into their lives." one gentleman said.
 
"A very admirable thing to do," said the group leader. And all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.
 
"For those 4 weeks, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction," one lady said enthusiastically.
 
"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.
 
One gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly. " For those 4 weeks, I would travel throughout the United States with my mother-in-law in a Ford Escort, and stay in a Motel 6 every night."
 
Everyone was puzzled by his answer. "Why would you do that?" the group leader asked.
 
"Because," the man smiled sarcastically, "it would be the longest 4 weeks of my life."
 
 
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
 
 

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