Wisdom from Grandpa
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg,
or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind
of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a
man gets so busy earnin' his salt, that he
forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better, or for
worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they
become one; but the trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough horse sense to
treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she
will never turn into an old nag.
On anniversaries, the wise husband
always forgets the past - but never the
present.
A foolish husband says to his wife,
"Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin',
cookin', and scrubbin'. No wife of mine
is gonna work."
The bonds of matrimony are a good
investment, only when the interest is
kept up.
Many girls like to marry a military man - he
can cook, sew, and make beds, and is in
good health, and he's already used to taking
orders.
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop
lying about your age, and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth
waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this
way. I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
How old would you be if you didn't know how
old you are?
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go
back to your youth, remember about Algebra.
I don't know how I got over the hill without
getting to the top.
One of the many things no one tells you about
aging is that it is such a nice change from
being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is
comfortable.
Old age is when former classmates are so
gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't
recognize you.
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't
have anything to laugh at when you are old.
One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother
do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking
out in contrast to her brunette hair.
The little girl looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something wrong
and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while
and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hairs
are white?"
front to hear the lesson.
He was discussing the story of Jonah. He quoted the scriptures from
Jonah 1 and 2: "And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah;
and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. Then
Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the belly of the fish, saying 'I
called to the Lord
our of my distress and He answered me.' ... and the Lord spoke to the
fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land" (Jonah 1:17; 2:2, 10).
When the pastor finished the quotation, he started trying to solicit
input from the youngsters to help him complete his mini-sermon. He asked
thoughtfully, "What does the fish vomiting Jonah out on dry land
indicate to us today?"
One of the youngsters spoke with great enthusiasm for the entire
congregation to hear, "It proves that even a fish can't stomach a bad
preacher!"
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