Quote from Forum Archives on June 4, 2002, 10:13 pm

Posted by: masinick <masinick@...>

Dear friends,

Forgiveness is something that if we're honest, most of us have trouble
with. Oh yes, we say that we forgive one another, but actually
forgiving is an act of the will, and it is not an automatic thing,
either. I've had many things to deal with in my life. I've NEEDED
much forgiveness for the wrongful deeds that I have done to others,
and I've needed to forgive many people along the way, too.

I've come to believe that failing to forgive another is both a problem
of pride and lack of obedience to God. So before I can get anything
right, personally, I have to get my attitude right with God. When I
find myself not wanting to let go of something, I first have to deal
with the aspect of letting go of whatever it may be, whether a feeling
or an action. So I have to deal with my relationship with God first.
Then, and only then, am I prepared to address dealing with my own
issues and my relationships with others.

New Life Clinics write a regular column in which they provide
suggestions on how to deal with a variety of issues. I think their
ideas, for the most part, are helpful. I do believe, however, that
each of us has to deal with God - whether we trust Him completely, and
whether we intend to obey Him completely or not before we can really
take a useful step any further. If we do that, then the principles
set forth below are applicable, in my opinion.

Your Brother in Christ,
Brian

13 Steps to forgiving the Unforgivable
from the book "The Gift of Forgiveness" by Charles Stanley
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1. Understand that forgiveness is not: Justifying, understanding, or
explaining why the person acted toward you as he or she did. Just
forgetting about the offense and trusting time to take care of
it. Asking God to forgive the person who hurt you. Asking God to
forgive you for being angry or resentful against the person who
offended you. Denying that you were really hurt; after all there are
others who have suffered more.

2. Understand that it is often unwise to forgive face to face. This
tends to make the other person feel "put down" and make you look
holier-than-thou.

3. Select a time and place when you can be alone for a season of time.

4. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your mind all the people
you need to forgive and the events you need to forgive them for.

5. Make a list of everything the Holy Spirit brings to your mind, even
if it seems trivial to you. (Do not rush through this step: allow the
Holy Spirit all the time He needs to speak to you.)

6. Take two chairs and arrange them facing each other. Seat yourself
in one of the chairs.

7. Imagine that the first person on your list is sitting in the other
chair. Disclose everything you can remember that the person has done
to hurt you. Do not hold back the tears or the emotions that accompany
the confessions.

8. Choose by an act of your will to forgive that person once and for
all time. You may not feel like being forgiving. That's all
right. Just do it and the feelings will follow. God will take care of
that. Do not doubt what you have done is real and valid.

9. Release the person from the debt you feel is owed you for the
offense. Say, "You are free and forgiven."

10. If the person is still a part of your life, now is a good time to
accept the individual without wanting to change aspects of their
personality or behavior.

11. Thank the Lord for using each person as a tool in your life to
deepen your insight into His grace and conforming you to the image of
His Son.

12. Pray. This is a suggested prayer to pray as you "talk" to each
person: Because I am forgiven and accepted by Christ, I can now
forgive and accept you, _____________, unconditionally in Christ. I
choose now to forgive you, _____________, no matter what you did to
me. I release you from the hurts (take time to name the hurts), and
you are no longer accountable to me for them. You are free.

13. When you have finished praying through the hurts you have
suffered, pray this prayer of faith: "Lord Jesus, by faith, I receive
Your unconditional love and acceptance in the place of this hurt, and
I trust You to meet all my needs, I take authority over the Enemy, and
in the name of Jesus, I take back the ground I have allowed Satan to
gain in my life because of my attitude toward _____________. Right now
I give this ground back to the Lord Jesus Christ to whom it rightfully
belongs."

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We have many helpful resources that deal with this issue. To browse
our Online Store, click here:
my.newlife.com/cgi-bin/cart/catalog.pl Or, perhaps you're in
crisis and need to find a Christian counselor in your area. We can
help. Call us, toll-free 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at
1-800-NEW-LIFE and we'll help in any way we can. We hope that you
enjoy the free tips each week. Thank you so much for your support of
New Life Live! and New Life Ministries. May God bless you today.

The Boys

=====
--
Brian Masinick, "The Mas", mailto:masinick@yahoo.com
Home page: www.geocities.com/masinick/

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