Quote from Forum Archives on April 22, 2002, 10:32 pm

Posted by: masinick <masinick@...>

Dear friends,

My friend Tina Rosario sent me this message from "The Boys" at
New Life Ministries. I believe that these tips are wholesome.
They provide a sound basis for thinking about the things that
matter. I encourage you to examine this week's tips as we begin a new
week.

Your Brother in Christ,
Brian

This Week's Free Tips:
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7 Steps to Healing the Hurt
From the book "Hurt People - Hurt People" by Sandra D. Wilson
To buy this book, click here:
my.newlife.com/cgi-bin/cart/item.pl?item=BK596
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1. Begin thinking about God as Jesus. If you are serious about
healing your spiritual abuse wounds, make an intentional choice
to begin "seeing" Jesus whenever you think or talk about God. As
I said earlier, the beginning of change is calling a thing by its
right name. So, start by calling God "Jesus" rather than by the
name of your father, stepfather, grandfather, or uncle.

Read and study the Gospels to learn how Jesus interacted with
people. How did He treat people who were struggling with sin?
I'll give you a hint. Jesus was astonishingly kind and gentle
with people who knew they were sinful and amazingly confrontive
with those who thought they were perfect.

2. Learn about God's general attributes. Learning to see God as
He is revealed in Scripture - most clearly in Jesus, of course -
will help you replace distorted God-concepts with the truth. And
this will help you love and trust God more.

3. Learn about God as a loving parent. God wants us to know that
He is not like hurtful human parents. Even though our own
parents forsake us, he will "receive" us (NIV) or "take [us] up"
(KJV) (Psalm 27:10). That seems to picture God reaching down and
adopting us as His own child, like a loving father would do for a
child abandoned on His doorstep. In fact, Scripture repeatedly
emphasizes God's tender concern for "the fatherless" and for
orphans (see Psalm 10:14; 146:9; Hosea 14:3). Those verses have
always been especially precious to me, a fatherless child.

4. Write about what you're learning. Use your personal journal
to write about how God differs from the perception you have of
Him that was shaped by your parents. How would that truth change
your life if you began acting upon it? One Christian adult
raised by hurtful, perfectionistic parents made this observation:
I am blown away by Jesus' description of the father in the
"Prodigal Son" parable. He is entirely different from my dad. I
have been afraid and very reluctant to confess my sins to God
because I always pictured Him with His arms folded over His
chest, a disgusted look on His face, and shaking His head back
and forth - just like my dad. I think I can pray more easily if
I can hold onto the picture of God as loving and forgiving.

5. Get help to deal honestly with "the pain of the pain.". When
we begin to mourn our childhood losses and to feel the grief and
despair, the pain can be debilitating. It can feel like dying.
And the worst part may be "the pain of the pain."

The pain of our pain is that God allowed it. I will not insult
refugees from childhood hells by offering easy answers to the
imponderable questions that such experiences raise. I don't know
why our loving Father God permits children to undergo such
unspeakable suffering. But I cling to my belief that somehow -
in ways that are light-years beyond my capacity to understand -
God will fulfill His promises to comfort the mourning and bring
joy out of the pain. (See Isaiah 61:2-3 and Psalm 30:11.) If
the pain of our pain is that God allowed it, then the joy of our
joy must be learning that God can heal and redeem our pain and
lead us into lives of genuine joy.

6. Choose to trust God in the midst of your pain and questions.
If we insist on waiting until the pain and doubt go away before
trusting God, we'll never do it. God never promised pain-free
lives in this sin-stained world. But He has promised to be with
us and to comfort and strengthen us in the midst of our pain. I
invite you to examine His record of faithfulness to that promise
and, after doing so, to purposefully decide to trust God. If you
are willing to practice this choice (or even willing to be made
willing), ask God to empower you.

7. Choose your church family. We couldn't choose our birth
families, but we can choose our church families. Deliberately
evaluate your church's "spiritual health" and decide whether you
should stay. Make sure you are in a church that has the
biblically balanced emphasis of 2 Peter 3:18, which tells
believers to "grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and
Saviour Jesus Christ." Many churches put all their emphasis on
the latter while neglecting the former all the while calling
themselves "Bible-believing." It is possible to find churches
that balance both; I know because I am in one. Ask God to lead
you in this critical choice.
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We have many helpful resources that deal with this issue. To
browse our Online Store, click here:
my.newlife.com/cgi-bin/cart/catalog.pl Or, perhaps you're
in crisis and need to find a Christian counselor in your area. We
can help. Call us, toll-free 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at
1-800-NEW-LIFE and we'll help in any way we can. We hope that
you enjoy the free tips each week. Thank you so much for your
support of New Life Live! and New Life Ministries. May God bless
you today.

The Boys

=====
--
Brian Masinick, "The Mas", mailto:masinick@yahoo.com
Home page: www.geocities.com/masinick/

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