Quote from Forum Archives on October 24, 2002, 1:41 pm

Posted by: masinick <masinick@...>

Dear friends,

Neil Anderson, in his daily devotional series from Freedom in
Christ Ministries, has written a well balanced message about the
importance of resolving a past conflict. Nearly all of us face
conflicts, some of us deal with them well so that they do not
become festering issues in our lives, but chances are, at some
time or another, something has happened that we have to deal with
and resolve.

Neil's message does a good job of addressing such situations. I
recommend that you read what he has to say and consider how the
principles he offers may pertain to situations in your own life
or in situations that you are familiar with.

Dear Lord, I've known what it's like to live in denial of the
things around me and I thank you for the freedom from living my
life in that way. Yet even today, I have to constantly remind
myself to remember to resolve conflicts promptly, and by Your
Spirit. Please guide me each day through this lifelong process,
that my life may be one of joy and peace, completed in You, and
that I may be an encouragement to others, too.

Your Brother in Christ,

Brian

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N E I L A N D E R S O N D A I L Y D E V O T I O N A L
from Freedom in Christ Ministries

October 24, 2002

RESOLVING A PAST CONFLICT

Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give
me an undivided heart (Psalm 86:11 NIV).

You have no control over a primary emotion, developed in the
past, when it is triggered. It doesn't do any good to feel
guilty about something over which you have no control. But you
can seek to resolve the past conflict and you can immediately
evaluate the present circumstance to bring it into perspective.
For example, suppose you meet a man named Bill. He looks like
the Bill who used to beat you up as a child. Even though he's
not the same person, your primary emotion initially jumps to a 3
on a scale of 10. But you mentally tell yourself that this is
not the same Bill, and you think yourself down to a 2.

You have not only used this process yourself thousands of times,
but you have also helped others do it. Someone flies off the
handle, so you grab him and tell him to get hold of himself. You
are helping that person gain control of himself by making him
think. Notice how this works the next time you're watching a
football game and tempers explode on the field. One player grabs
an enraged teammate and says, "Listen, Meathead, you're going to
cost us a 15-yard penalty and perhaps the game if you don't
simmer down." The player will see the conflict in perspective
and will get himself under control by thinking clearly.

Some Christians assert that the past isn't important. If you're
talking about truth, then I would agree. The truth is
truth--past, present and future. But if you are talking about
what people are actually experiencing, I would have to disagree.
Most of the people who argue that the past isn't important have
major unresolved conflicts from the past which they are not
allowing to surface. They are attempting to handle themselves by
living in denial. Either that or they are extremely fortunate to
have a conflict-free past. Those who have had major traumas and
have learned to resolve them in Christ know how devastating the
past can be to present reality.

Lord, I choose not to live in denial. Give me the grace to look
at my past and the courage to face the truth.

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< www.ficm.org >.

Additional devotionals are available from Crosswalk.com:
< www.crosswalk.com/faith/devotionals/>.
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Brian Masinick, mailto:masinick@yahoo.com
Home page: www.geocities.com/masinick/

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