Quote from Forum Archives on August 7, 2001, 11:38 am

Posted by: masinick <masinick@...>

Dear friends,

There is no useful purpose in controlling others. In fact, in
the name of many supposedly good things, people in all walks of
life control others. I have tried (unsuccessfully) to control
others. On occasion, I forget, and I still try to do it. But I
have learned that trying to control others is, at best,
destructive behavior. The best any of us can hope for is to be a
good example, and possibly a positive influence, on others.
That even goes for our relationships in our families, and with
our children. How well I'm learning that!

The Bible tells us, instead, to trust in the LORD. Verse 6 in
the well known passage of Proverbs 3 says, "In ALL of your ways,
acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" (or "He
will direct your path").

Now some people have a difficult time understanding that. Such
people really do not have a personal relationship with God.
Those who do have a personal relationship with God realize that
God desires fellowship - communication, attention, conversation,
with each of us.

This message makes a good case that it is our relationship with
God, (where we consciously surrender control of every situation
to Him), that true peace, joy, and contentment result. Why
continue to fight to control things that are not under our
control anyway? Today is the day to confess, once again, that we
are prone to want things our way. Let's allow God, instead, to
lead us today, in ways that are right, pure, and true. I
guarantee you, it is a better way.

Dear Lord,

Help me surrender my urges to control others, and instead,
surrender all things to Your wonderful, divine and loving care.
Amen.

Brother Brian

Reply-to: Neil Anderson <neilanderson@lists.crosswalk.com>
Subject: Neil Anderson Devotional for Tuesday, August 7, 2001

N E I L A N D E R S O N D A I L Y D E V O T I O N A L
from Freedom in Christ Ministries

August 7

TRYING TO CONTROL OTHERS

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your
own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

When a person's self-worth or success hinges on the achievement
of a goal which can be blocked or which is uncertain or
impossible, how will he respond to those who frustrate his goals?
Often he will attempt to control or manipulate the people or
circumstances who stand between him and his success.

For example, a pastor's goal is to have the finest youth ministry
in the community. But one of his board members blocks his goal by
insisting that a music ministry is more important. Every attempt
by the pastor to hire a youth pastor is vetoed by the influential
board member who wants to hire a music director first. The pastor
wrongly perceives that his sense of worth and success in ministry
is on the line. So he shifts into a power mode to push the
stumbling block out of the way. He looks for a way to change the
opposition's mind or remove him from the board because he
believes that his success in ministry is dependent on reaching
his goal of a great youth ministry.

A mother believes that her self-worth is dependent on her
children behaving in a certain way. Her goal is to raise perfect
little Christians who will become pastors or missionaries. But as
the children reach their teen years and begin to express their
independence, their behavior doesn't always match their mother's
ideal. So instead of helping them grow through adolescence and
releasing them into adulthood, she tries to control them.

It is not hard to understand why people try to control others.
They believe that their worth is dependent on other people and
circumstances. This is a false belief as evidenced by the fact
that the most insecure people you will ever meet are manipulators
and controllers of others. But people who are secure in their
identity in Christ don't need to control others. Their goal is to
be the leader, spouse, parent or employee that God wants them to
be because nothing can keep them from being what God wants them
to be but themselves.

Lord, I affirm that my worth is based on my relationship with You
and that I am free to become the person You want me to be.

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Brian Masinick, "The Mas", mailto:masinick@yahoo.com
Home page: www.geocities.com/masinick/

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