Quote from Forum Archives on November 19, 2002, 8:54 pm

Posted by: masinick <masinick@...>

Dear friends,

Once again I'd like to share with you a message from my friend
Larry Davies. This week, Larry talks about an important topic -
the things we say to others can have a huge effect on others.

The message brings out some important distinctions in the way we
work with others. It is possible to be correcting in the things
we say toward others without being hurtful in the way we go about
it. Even so, some people are more sensitive than others. A good
exercise for all of us to do every now and then is to think, not
only about what we say, but also about the manner and way we say
it.

Are we "qualified"? Chances are we could say either yes or no to
that question, depending on both the topic and how we feel about
ourselves. I pray that this message will be useful as we do a
bit of self examination. I pray that the Word of God will
penetrate our hearts and remind us how we feel when someone else
criticizes us. Let's endeavor to be people with healing words,
and when we slip and hurt someone else, let's go back with
repentant hearts (first before God, then before those we've
offended), then let's go and make it right.

Your Brother in Christ, Brian

Sowing Seeds of Faith...

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"Words that Hurt or Words that Heal" Larry Davies

Words can hurt! Our family moved to a new area as I entered the
seventh grade. During the first week of school, I decided to try
out for the chorus. Since I already participated in our church
choir, singing sounded like a great way to make friends and have
fun. But as I timidly opened the door to the music room, the
singing and the laughter stopped as everyone stared at the new
kid... me.

I was summoned to the piano and the teacher handed me a piece of
music. She then started playing with the expectation that I would
sing. Reading unfamiliar music while trying to sing well was
nearly impossible and it was obvious by the knowing looks and
snickers of the other children that I was not succeeding. The
next words out of the teacher's mouth devastated what little
self-esteem I still possessed. "I'm sorry... you are not
qualified to sing in our school chorus."

I remember being upset and crying but I got over the initial hurt
quickly enough and went on to other interests. I still made a few
friends and enjoyed a normal childhood. I'm happy to confess that
I didn't grow up to be a mass murderer, drink orange juice out of
a baby bottle or have torrid affairs with strangers. "So Larry,
why are you making such a big deal about it now?

Words can hurt! Looking back on it, I'm amazed how much effect
those words had on my life. To me, the teacher was an authority
figure who understood music. If she said I can't sing then... I
can't sing therefore I won't sing. Over the next few months, I
quit the church choir and when singing with others, I began to
lower my volume to a mumble so no one would actually hear me.

Words can hurt! While reading this were you reminded of a time
when someone said something that hurt you deeply? We've all been
victimized by words just as we have damaged others with hurtful
criticism and inappropriate comments. Yet, occasionally we must
offer criticism and if we are to experience growth we must also
accept disapproval. So, what are we to do?

The lesson is in understanding and utilizing the power of one
word: encouragement.

The author of Hebrews wrote to a struggling church: "Without
wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God
can be trusted to keep his promise. Think of ways to encourage
one another to outbursts of love and good deeds." (10:23-24) To
encourage means to inspire another with courage. We hold on to
our hope by trusting God and inspiring others with courage.

Becoming an encourager doesn't simply mean speaking in flowery
platitudes but criticism should be offered respectfully and
prayerfully for the purpose of inspiring another with courage. As
an encourager, I learn to be confident of God's love and
understand that unsuitable and even hurtful comments should be
lovingly but firmly ignored. With God's encouragement we can do
that.

Yes, the music teacher was cruel in the way that she dealt with
my musical abilities but I now understand that it is my choice to
accept the criticism as valid and have the courage to adjust or
reject the comments as inappropriate. The choice is always
mine.

Encouragement means that words can also heal! Nearly twenty years
later, a choir director walked up and said: "I heard you singing
during worship today and really liked the sound of your voice.
Would you be interested in joining our choir?" Thanks to her
continuing encouragement, I did join the choir and rediscovered
that I could really sing after all... sort of. Words can heal!

Words can hurt or words can heal. God lovingly gives the freedom
to choose how we use words and how we receive them. My prayer is
that we will all strive to be encouragers and use our words
wisely to inspire others to outbursts of love and good deeds.
Maybe that is what being the church is all about. We could
certainly do worse! Hey, maybe I should sing a solo? Maybe
Not!!

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they are giving away cans of soup to food banks just for clicking
on your favorite team's helmet. Take a moment and click on the
link. What an easy way to send food this season to the local food
bank! chunky.nfl.com/click_for_cans.html

If you like this devotion you will love the book: "Breaking the
Peanut Butter Habit: Following God's Recipe for a Better Life"
now on sale only through this website. Click here for more
information: www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/peanbutt.htm

Join our prayer ministry by clicking here:
www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/sign-up.htm

Jesus said: "You are the light of the world--like a city on a
mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don't hide your
light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine
for all." (Matthew 5:14-15)

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--
Brian Masinick, mailto:masinick@yahoo.com
Home page: www.geocities.com/masinick/

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