Quote from Forum Archives on May 26, 2004, 4:26 pm

Posted by: masinick <masinick@...>

Word for Today, Wed, 26 May 2004: Discouragement and Suicide
Dear friends,

Larry Davies has an online ministry that he calls Sowing Seeds
of Faith. I first became familiar with it in 1998, but I
believe he's had an online ministry since 1995, so he's truly
one of the pioneers of online prayer and devotional ministries.
Larry also happens to be the full time pastor of a local church
in Virginia. He writes regular messages that are based on real
experiences of real people.

This week's message is about a person who was so dejected and
despondent that she was ready to give up on everything, even
life. Can you identify with her? I can. There are times when
I even wonder if it's all worth it. But then I think about God's
creation and I remember several things. I remember that God
made creation, I am one of His creations. That gives me some
things to remember about my identity, too. I am deeply loved,
fully accepted, and completely forgiven.

The Bible tells us that we matter a great deal to God: "7 Show
the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes. 8 Keep me as the
apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings 9 from
the wicked who assail me, from my mortal enemies who surround
me. (Psalm 17:7-9 :: New International Version (NIV))

My friends, I'm pretty typical, I have many of the same feelings
and experiences as you do, and I make many of the same mistakes.
I pray that you share this in common with me, too. I have an
advocate, someone who cares deeply about me, and I know Him. His
Name is Jesus Christ.

It's when I forget about just how much Jesus loves and cares for
me that I get overly discouraged. When I renew my mind with His
love, His provisions, and the hope of eternity with Him, I am
renewed. I still get down, but I don't stay down.

Get to know Jesus intimately. He's the best - in every possible
way!

Yours in Christ,
Brian

____________________________________________________________
Sowing Seeds of Faith...

The following two-part devotion was first written several years
ago and was a primary reason our ministry became involved with
people considering suicide. Over the years we have helped and
encouraged many on the brink of taking their life. This
particular story is a difficult one to read but will help you
understand a little of what goes on in the mind of someone
considering suicide. Just below the devotion are two sample
prayer requests from our world wide ministry. Information on how
you can support our ministry is also below. Our expenses
continue to escalate. If you can possibly support our ministry
financially or with your prayers you will be supporting a
world-wide ministry. God bless. Larry

"Suicide and Janice" Part 1 Larry Davies

The first email of the morning sent cold chills down my spine:
"Please pray for me. I know God is my Savior. I know nothing is
impossible without Him but I am overwhelmed and knowing isn't
enough right now. I know suicide is a sin but I hope God will
know my heart and forgive me. I hold the pill bottle in my hand
knowing it is wrong but not having the strength or courage to
live. I have a good husband and a teenage son who need me but
right now that isn't enough. I just want to die and go home to
my Savior. Please pray God will forgive me and take me home."

She included her name: Janice (changed) but there was no
address.

The second email arrived minutes after the first: "I know I just
sent in a prayer request but I am scared. I am not afraid to
die. I am afraid to live!"

I responded as best I could by telling her about the suicide
which had occurred within my own family and how much we were all
devastated by the tragedy. Later, Janice sent me a reply:

"I know the devastation I will leave behind. I know my child;
husband and friends may never forgive me. I just can't put into
words the pain inside: Both emotional and physical. I have seen
God use me even in my darkest moments. I have felt the blessing
that he would choose someone as unworthy as me to reach someone
in need. But I am so tired. I cannot find the hope that once
gave me the will to trust in God. To really believe he will take
care of me. My life and self-esteem are scattered in pieces and
I cannot find the strength or courage to let God finish what was
started. I am tired and alone and I just don't want to die
without knowing people will pray for my husband and child. I
have a wonderful counselor who has been with me through these
dark nights of my soul. He promises to stay with me until God
finishes but I have taken so much and given nothing back. I am
so broken. It hurts so deep inside and all hope is buried in
darkness."

"I wrote this poem but I can't seem to finish it. It describes
what it feels like inside:"

It's in the silence of the night that I hear my heart cry

When I wish the days of life would just pass me by

I don't know what I'm feeling... just emptiness inside

The place where lies of darkness go to run and hide

It's a sadness that comes over, a fear of things unknown

I pray to God my Father "Let Your light be shown!"

Yet the darkness all around me, the shadows of the night

Overtake the truths I know in my mind to be right

My intense desire to live... to continue to try

Is now overpowered by a longing to die

Can I trust in You completely to carry me along

Can I believe what You say "In You I am strong"

I'm so afraid to believe that You are standing right there

With Your arms stretched out saying "My child I care!"

That kind of love my empty heart just can't begin to hold

I'm told that I'm unlovable, broken and cold

I long to wrap my arms around you, climb up upon Your knee

To find the strength within to say that I am free.

"I want to finish saying I can give God all of me, give him my
life, that I trust Him, that I am worthy of His love but I feel
none of these. I just feel dark and empty. I want to take the
pills. I'm tired. I want to finish and go home. I don't
understand why this is a battle. Why can't I just die? It's like
I can't even do this right. Please help me. Pray for me. Pray
with me."

A real person seeking real help wrote this letter and there are
thousands of people around the world who feel the same way. As
Christians... what should do? How can we help? What should we
say? Next week: "Suicide and Janice: Answers." Meanwhile, please
say an extra prayer this week for Janice and others like her. If
you are considering suicide... don't! Please write immediately.
We care!

--------------------------------------

From: Malia Carter, Email: mailto:barefootsole@yahoo.com
Comments: I am homeless right now (staying with a friend), I
can't afford to support myself or my children. Please pray that
I get one of these jobs that I've been interviewing for and that
I may be able to move out soon and provide for myself and my
children. Please pray that I will get a financial blessing that
I will not have room enough to receive. I ask this in Jesus'
Holy Name.

Name: Sue Taylor, Address: Wausau, WI, Email: mailto:spmjt39@netzero.net
Comments: Dear friends: I've used this site many times and my
prayers are with everyone! I still deal with depression and
suicide thoughts and would continue to ask for prayers. Also
our church had called a pastor who decided to back out at the
last minute, this was a blow to the whole church and now we must
continue searching. Keep us in our prayer that the right pastor
comes along. If anyone knows of one out their looking for a
congregation let me know as well.

Sowing Seeds Ministry is making a difference around the world.
We continue to need your help. Become one of 9,000 prayer
partners: www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/sign-up.htm and/or
become a financial partner:
www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/ministry_partner.htm. Most of
all we need your prayers if our ministry is to continue making a
difference around the world.

Read Sowing Seeds of Faith... everyday! Click here:
www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/Devotions.htm

Are you receiving prayer concerns from around the world? Join
our prayer team today. Check it out by clicking here:
www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/sign-up.htm

How can I regularly support your ministry? Become a Sowing Seeds
Ministry partner. Click here:
www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/ministry_partner.htm

Jesus said: "You are the light of the world-like a city on a
mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don't hide your
light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it
shine for all." (Matthew 5:14-15)

"Breaking the Peanut Butter Habit: Following God's Recipe for a
Better Life" now on sale only through our website.
www.sowingseedsoffaith.com/peanbutt.htm

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--
Brian Masinick, mailto:masinick@yahoo.com
Home page: www.geocities.com/masinick/

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