Quote from Forum Archives on November 8, 2000, 12:28 pm

Posted by: masinick <masinick@...>

Dear friends,

You may recall that last week at this time, my friend Larry
Davies asked some provoking questions about divorce. He asked
his readers to write their own experiences and comments back. I
did so, and I recognize one of my "excerpts" in this text. Who
can find my excerpt? (First one to find the correct excerpt gets
a prize. Guess the prize, too, and you are a REAL winner!) 😉

Divorce is a nasty thing. There is little good about it. The
Bible is very clear about divorce. Malachi 2 has this to say:

"10 Have we not all one Father? Did not one God create us?
Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith
with one another? 11 Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing
has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has
desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter
of a foreign god. 12 As for the man who does this, whoever he
may be, may the LORD cut him off from the tents of Jacob --even
though he brings offerings to the LORD Almighty. 13 Another
thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and
wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or
accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, "Why?"
It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and
the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her,
though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
15 Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are
his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So
guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the
wife of your youth. 16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of
Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as
well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard
yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. 17 You have
wearied the LORD with your words. "How have we wearied him?" you
ask. By saying, "All who do evil are good in the eyes of the
LORD, and he is pleased with them" or "Where is the God of
justice?"

Did you catch the jist of what Malachi was sharing from the LORD?
He was telling the people that God is not pleased when we break
our covenants (that is, our agreements), and even worse when we
forsake our most treasured relationships.

I think that Malachi is talking about more than one thing here.
The obvious thing is that he is talking about our marriages.
But the reason this is such a big matter to God is that it speaks
of deception and completely turning away from the important
things.

If you read long enough, you will find that though God hates
divorce, God Himself has "divorced" or separated Himself from the
nation of Israel (though not forever - God has already chosen the
remnant from those He loves, and the means to redeem them [Christ
Himself]). Take a look at this:

Jeremiah 3

"7 I thought that after she had done all this she would return to
me but she did not, and her unfaithful sister Judah saw it. 8 I
gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her
away because of all her adulteries. Yet I saw that her unfaithful
sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed
adultery. 9 Because Israel's immorality mattered so little to
her, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stone and
wood."

God knows our hearts and knows them well. Keep these things in
mind, and think about what Larry's friends have to say. Next
week, Larry will share some personal experiences with us. Maybe
I will too!

Brother Brian

From: "Sowing Seeds Ministry" <sowseeds@nesbeonline.com>
Subject: "Divorce: When It Strikes Your Pastor"
Part 2 Sowing Seeds Devotion November 9, 2000

This particular column was written by many of you. After last
week's devotion on clergy divorce, hundreds of you wrote back
offering advice and prayers. Never have I received so many. I did
my best to preserve the major point of your letters, respect your
privacy and keep the comments brief. Thank you for being so
helpful. This devotion is dedicated to you.

Sowing Seeds of Faith

Divorce: When It Strikes Your Pastor Part 2
Larry Davies

Last week, I wrote about the heartbreak of clergy divorce: No
one is immune to the tragedy of marital distress and divorce not
even the men and women who devote their livelihood to serving
God. In addition to the excruciating personal pain of a marital
break-up there is also the public humiliation of having your
leadership skills and even your spirituality challenged before
the church and community. Recent statistics show the divorce rate
for clergy has risen to match the general population. Its
obviously a serious problem. How should we respond?

I encouraged your comments last week and received many

* When God selects us to a full time ministry it doesn't mean we
are perfect, it only means we are obedient to the call. As a
matter of fact it is because we acknowledge our vast
imperfections. Yet too often we forget that we have to be
obedient daily in our walk with Christ. It is the job and
responsibility of the Church to hold the Pastor and his family up
in prayer.

* When those who lead us, go through spiritual trials, whether
they are self-inflicted or not, they deserve the same spiritual
support given any other member of the flock. A pastor is still a
member of the flock only with special responsibilities. I was
very impressed by the support and love your congregation gave
you. I heard horror stories but it seems to me your congregation
got it right.

* It would be hard to counsel someone elses marriage when yours
failed Imagine going to the mechanic whose own car is barely
running, or asking for a loan from a bank that has just declared
bankruptcy. It seems foolish, doesn't it!

* I personally know how devastating divorce is. I was planning to
be married FOR LIFE! It just didn't work out that way. I learned
not to judge others in this matter, for it happened to ME! My
prayer is simply to love and encourage those around me and ask
God for strength and wisdom. Perhaps with that kind of a spirit
and hope, there is yet a great hope for this generation.

* Your past experiences are a powerful witness to those of us
struggling every day with similar situations. Can a priest REALLY
counsel on marriage and sex related problems when he has never
been there or done that? Life experiences, though often painful
are what we use to learn and relay a personal more intimate look
at ourselves. The fact that you have been through it makes you a
more compassionate, understanding, and informed Pastor and
teacher.

* I appreciate you being willing to open this door especially
when I'm sure it still hurts. I know a young minister whose wife
walked out on him several years ago. He had several children. She
had an affair with someone and when the church found out about
it, they dismissed him.

* I was married to a pastor for 17 years. During this time, I
supported his ministry as much as I could. I was abused by him
every way but physically. He was arrested for indecent exposure
and we eventually got a divorce. He moved in with a girlfriend
and eventually married. They are now divorced and he is married
for a third time. I was raised not to believe in divorce either
but I know that my life and that of my children is better,
although I wonder if I will ever learn to love again. I could not
have made it without God's help.

* I too would be shocked to hear of a divorce in the clergy of
our local church. But I discovered not long ago that my wife and
I were the only ones in our church family to ever invite the
pastor to our home for supper and a time of fellowship.

* I believe in my marriage vows and don't believe in divorce but
there are just some cases that just can't be helped. I in no way
pass judgment on anyone because Jesus said: "Let him without sin
cast the first stone," and believe me, I am not perfect. My heart
goes out to all who are hurting. That's why I will do just about
anything to make my marriage work and boy does it take work!!

* Sadly, being "set apart" for ministry isn't always a shared
commitment. My spouse supports me but doesn't always understand
the time pressures. My two daughters think I've lost my mind

God says it best, For I hate divorce (Malachi 2:16)

Next week, I will draw on my personal struggles as a divorced and
remarried pastor to provide reasonable and Biblical answers.
Meanwhile, say an extra prayer for your minister and look for an
opportunity to offer him/her a gesture of support and love. They
really need it. Dont we all.

<www.sowingseedsoffaith.com>

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Brian Masinick, "The Mas", mailto:masinick@yahoo.com
Home page: www.geocities.com/masinick/
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