Written Excuses
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
the public school system:
"Please excuse Dianne from being absent yeaterday. She was in bed
with gramps."
"Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault."
"Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side."
"John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face."
"Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor."
"Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going
over."
"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed.
Please execute him."
"Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hit in the growing part."
"My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent
this weekend with the Marines."
"Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off
a tree and misplaced her hip."
Dear Pastor
I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister.
Yours sincerely, Arnold Age 8, Nashville
Dear Pastor,
Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson.
Sincerely, Pete Age 9, Phoenix
Dear Pastor,
My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something.
Robert Age 11, Anderson
Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance?
Love, Patty Age 10, New Haven
Dear Pastor,
My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold.
Yours truly, Annette Age 9, Albany
Dear Pastor,
I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there.
Stephen Age 8, Chicago
Dear Pastor,
I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland.
Loreen Age 9, Tacoma
Dear Pastor,
I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important then money but I still want a raise in my allowance.
Sincerely, Eleanor Age 12, Sarasota
Dear Pastor,
Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow.
Laurie Age 10, New York City
Dear Pastor,
I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner.
Love, Ellen Age 9, Athens
Dear Pastor,
Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher.
Thank you. Alexander Age 10, Raleigh
Dear Pastor,
My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house.
Joshua Age 10, South Pasadena
Dear Pastor,
Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class.
Carla Age 10, Salina
Dear Pastor,
I like your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished.
Ralph Age 11, Akron
Dear Pastor,
How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers?
Sincerely, Marie Age 9, Lewiston
Hi, Mr. God! It's me, little Andy.
You got some time to talk, today?
If you're too busy, I'll come back.
I don't have noth'n 'portant to say.
I was jest wonder'n,
What do you do most of the time;
Besides cleaning stars and stuff,
And keep'n the skies a look'n fine?
Do you ever jest sit on the clouds
And hang your feet over the side?
And, do you watch us, down here,
And can you take a cloud for a ride?
Mr. God, you got pets up there?
Daddy says you got lots of room to play.
Who mows the grass for you and
Who takes care of things when you're away?
Daddy, often, says He serves
A great big God. Is that so?
How big are you, any way, Mr. God, and
Does Jesus go with you every where you go?
Do you take a lunch to work?
Do you drive a car or walk, or do you fly?
Do you have a 'puter up there
And are you ever shy?
Do you plant the pretty flowers
Or do the angels do that for you?
And, if I ever came to visit,
What kinda things would I get to do?
How do you make the stars light up and
Where do you keep them through the day?
Or, do you take them, in the morning,
And clean and put them all a way?
Where do you go on vacation?
We're goin' to Grandma's, this year.
Mommy says she gets so lonely and cries a lot,
Since grandpa isn't here.
Maybe, you could come with us.
I'm sure it would be alright.
Daddy says you are everywhere.
So, where do you sleep at night?
Tell Jesus I came by, today.
Is He off fishing, or somthun more fun?
Tell Him I love him and you, too.
Now, I gotta run.
Thanks for lista'nun, Mr. God.
If you see Grandpa, tell him I said, "Hi."
Tell him we all miss him
And we try hard not to cry.
Tell him were watch'n grandma
And she's a gett'n better.
Bet'cha she would like for grandpa
To send her a nice letter.
I gotta go. Mama's callin'.
I love you a whole bunch
And Jesus, too, you know.
Mama's calling me for lunch.
From little Andy
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