You might be a redneck...
Posted by: clean-hewmor <clean-hewmor@...>
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your spouse.
Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!"
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen, start your
engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it
has in it.
You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.