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Zealous Preacher Monday
2,360 Posts
#1 · May 29, 2005, 8:29 pm
Quote from Forum Archives on May 29, 2005, 8:29 pmPosted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Zealous Preacher"
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans.""You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?""Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer."Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day."Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days."
"Vet Bills"While waiting at the veterinarian's office, I overheard two women chatting about their dogs."What's your dog's name?" asked the first woman."Well, we used to call her Pork Chop," answered the second lady. "But after the vet bills we've had for her, we now call her Filet Mignon.""The Vet"After a long day of being called upon to visit an
endless series of horses and cows with sore
legs, I finally returned to the animal clinic.Although exhausted, when I discovered I had
a slow leak in one of my truck tires, I drove over
to get it fixed at the service station.The mechanic knew immediately he was dealing
with a tired veterinarian after I carefully explained
to him that my truck seemed to be lame in the right
hind tire.
You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile.Have a Blessed DayDave and BarbaraNecessary Legal InformationWe do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Zealous Preacher"
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"
Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."
"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"
With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."
The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?"
"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.
"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.
This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"
Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day."
Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days."
"Vet Bills"
While waiting at the veterinarian's office, I overheard two women chatting about their dogs.
"What's your dog's name?" asked the first woman.
"Well, we used to call her Pork Chop," answered the second lady. "But after the vet bills we've had for her, we now call her Filet Mignon."
"The Vet"
After a long day of being called upon to visit an
endless series of horses and cows with sore
legs, I finally returned to the animal clinic.
endless series of horses and cows with sore
legs, I finally returned to the animal clinic.
Although exhausted, when I discovered I had
a slow leak in one of my truck tires, I drove over
to get it fixed at the service station.
a slow leak in one of my truck tires, I drove over
to get it fixed at the service station.
The mechanic knew immediately he was dealing
with a tired veterinarian after I carefully explained
to him that my truck seemed to be lame in the right
hind tire.
with a tired veterinarian after I carefully explained
to him that my truck seemed to be lame in the right
hind tire.
You are never fully dressed until you wear a smile.
Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara
Necessary Legal Information
We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.
Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org
Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute. Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>
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