How I was freed from Satan’s Grip
“You have a choice to make, you can either continue going to Church as you have been or we can play baseball”
How I was freed from Satan’s Grip
As a young boy I was raised in a household where the word of God was notwelcome. My father came from a strong Protestant household of Nazarenes andhe married my mother right out of her Catholic high school, but decided fromthe beginning that in “his” house he and his family would not be burdenedby all the “fire and brimstone” that he had grown up with. I lived a greatwhile like this, my memories are of attending Catholic services once everygreat while (during the big holidays). At around the age of seven I was giventhe opportunity to make my first communion. thanks to the efforts of my mother.On the day I was recognized for this achievement (which amounted to a coupleof weekend sessions filling out a “Jesus story” fill in the blanks book)my dad took me out back of the house and gave me my reward. it was a bluecub scout sleeping bag. and a choice to make. “Son” he said, “You have achoice to make, you can either continue going to Church as you have beenor we can play baseball [I had been a baseball prodigy since a very earlyage] with me, what will it be?”
I have to tell you, the thought of getting dressed up every Sunday and spendingwhat seemed like an eternity holding my breath for fear of angering the nunswhile they oversaw our boring fill in the blank exercise made my answer swiftand sure; “Let’s play ball Dad!” was my response. And so the seven yearsthat followed went quickly by. Backtracking a little to the age of ten, mydad was in the garage selling a piece of dental equipment to a gentlemanwhen suddenly he fell, striking his head against the lowered bed of his ElCamino. That’s when he had his first epileptic seizure. The years to followfound our family going through many changes, the first major one was thatwe had to sell our house and move into an apartment complex (on the “other”side of the tracks). Here I made a whole new group of friends, only thesewere different. Some came from divorced and or broken homes, other’s werejust poor, I suddenly found myself thrust into an environment of teen agedrug use and all that comes with it. I began using marijuana and startedusing alcohol for the first time in my life. this was at 14. Then a reallymajor change, waking up in the darkness of the early morning one day I foundmy parents moving, “Come on David, let’s go, were going on a little trip”,they said. Some hours later I discovered that we were on our way to Idaho(where ever that was?). And that’s when things really began to come apart.The kids in my new high school there rejected me. I was a “jock” but worelong hair and “surfer” cloths, which were the markings of a “head” or “stoner”(two separate populations that did not tolerate each other). It did not takelong before the cold shoulder and miss treatment from the other “jocks” leftme isolated and frightened, then one day while waiting for the school busit happened, someone from the “head” group looked around the corner of thebus stop/gas station from their groups “smoking area” and invited me in.I went like a sheep to its slaughter. The next two years were filled withescalating levels of intoxication while I watched my father’s health go frombad to worse. his personality had deteriorated to such a degree that noneof my family recognized him any more, in fact he frightened us. one day afterbeing out with some “friends” I came home to find my dad waiting to greetme on the entry stairs. He punched me in the mouth, lodging my two frontteeth in its roof. My mother was hysterical and I decided at that momentthat I would leave. I asked that for my 16th birthday my parents give mea note saying that I was not a runaway, but instead, had their permissionto be out on my own. A few months later I received that note, $1000.00 frommy mom, and a ride to the bus station. and I was on my way back to California.
I stopped in a little town called San Luis Obispo and began learning howto survive. Getting a job in the restaurant industry I was able to supportmyself, meet new people, and support my increasing need for drugs. I wastrying to numb the pain of my reality. The kind of people I was to meet overthe next few years astonishes me to this day. You name it, and it was outthere.
One day my mom called saying that my dad had become very sick and that shewanted to come live with me. I found a condominium shortly thereafter andshe and my brother moved in. My mom had become a full blown alcoholic bythis time, she would be so out of it some times that she would have me (atseventeen) go to the store and buy her liquor, I can still remember to thisday, a fifth of vodka and a twelve pack of Budweiser. we got notice thatmy dad had past away when I was eighteen and that deepened both of ouraddictions. Finally, I could take no more. I joined the California ConservationCorps to get away. only to discover harder drugs. From there I moved to Phoenixand continued my downward spiral getting involved in strip joints, prostitution,and selling drugs.
After almost two years of this I realized how bad things had gotten and sojoined the Navy to escape and start over. what I found there was the mosthideous of all. I began using intravenous drugs (heroin and others) and thenfound myself engaged to a women who sold meth amphetamines, practiced witchcraft,and prostituted herself (and her 4 yr. Old boy I think). I thought certainlythe bottom had been reached. On night while sitting alone (and surprisinglyenough, sober) in the living room I began to talk to God. I had just meta group of guys who had a band, and because I wanted to sing and become famous,started telling God that if He really existed that He could prove it to meby making this happen and then I would believe in Him. After several attempts,and no answer, I began dealing with Satan, praying to him in the same manner.the following is what happened. As I lay back on the living room Futon swearingmy allegiance to Satan I saw and felt nothing. A few minutes had passed beforeI noticed what appeared to be a fire in the parking lot outside our kitchenwindow. The drapes began to flicker as if watching a fire place burn frombehind them. I looked away in disbelief twice before looking back the thirdtime to see a glow so strong that it convinced me something had caught fire,I got up to look. When I pushed back one side of the drape my eyes were openedto the vision of a tall, transparent, cloaked figure standing directly infront of me about twenty yards out. Sticking my head out the window, I lookedto the right to see another of the same half engulfed by the building andhalf exposed. Quickly I looked to the left, and yes, there was another one,twenty yards out. Frightened, I turned back into the darkened apartment onlyto “feel” the presence over several others outside the apartment on the otherside. They had enclosed my in some sort of circle. Terrified, I went backto the futon and lay there in the fetal position, weeping from fright, Ibegan to pray to a God I had never known for deliverance*nothing came. Ifew short moments later it got very still and then I heard it. Deep in mysoul, a single laughter, awful and hideously evil. Soon it was joined byother laughter. I looked into the darkness to see several small “comet” likephenomenon flying around the room swiftly. They appeared to be of the samesubstance as the figures in the parking lot only these were entering andexiting my body without hindrance. In terror I looked up in the general directionof that first singular laughter. What I saw was a being of similar type tothe others only not draped in any fashion and somewhat less visible. He/itwas standing above me laughing victoriously (much as the modern media. especiallychildren’s shows. portrays the victorious laughter of Satanic beings). Afterseveral minutes I could feel myself going cold from the head down. Slowlythis feeling crept down my body as I listened to the deafening laughter,watching as the “little ones” took turns pulling what I can only explainas my soul/spirit out of my body. This went on for about 15-20 minutes Iguess before I felt a deep; empty, cold feeling throughout by body, and thenas suddenly as it had began, it was over*total silence.
I did not know much about God and spirits and such, but I knew that somethingwas terribly wrong. I began to pray to God for help and wept. The sun cameup and several days went by with no change. I simply felt empty and had thisnotion that I had done something eternally wrong. I somehow knew that mylife had ended. I packed a bag of cloths and told, my then, fiancee goodbye. I was going to see my brother and mother one last time, tell them Iloved them, and then disappear into I didn’t know what.
Two days later I was at my brothers apartment in San Luis Obispo. Withina two day period there I was offered a job by an old boss and provided witha place to live (my brothers roommate bailed out on him) and so I said whynot, I wasn’t doing anything else. Still feeling completely empty, I sworeoff all drugs and decided to at least try to live out the rest of my lifethe best I could. I soon found another job which led, over a six year period,to a respectable position with an high tech international company. I beganattempting to fill my life with all the comforts that money could buy, hopingto avoid the emptiness I felt deep within, when the day finally came. I wassitting in the controllers office talking to his wife and a couple otheremployees when he himself walked in, came up behind me and lightly touchingme on the shoulder, asked if I was a Christian. I said that I did not knowwhat that was and then asked why he asked. The conversation soon led to aninvitation to attend service at his UPC Church (turns out he was a churchelder there) and so being curious, I accepted. “A friend of mine and myselfare going to Santa Barbara to attend the Greek festival there this weekend,”I said, “We’ll drop in on the way back”. Well, we dropped in. I was slightlyintoxicated (alcohol use was still a factor in my life) and only noticedthat the service was real loud and all the people were very excited. Thepastor kept yelling something about it being Friday but, “Sunday was a commin'”.I decided that something was going on there and I at least wanted to makea sober decision as to what so I went back the following Wednesday evening.The message was the same, “Today is Friday, but Sundays a commin'”. Afterthe message an alter call was given and while standing next to the controller’swife I felt the gentle nudge of her elbow. “Do you want to go?” she asked.”No thank you” was my reply. I attended the following Sunday service, samemessage, same nudge, same reply. Again I went back (I’m not sure why at thispoint, I was just going) that Wednesday night and that’s when her slightnudge caused me to say, “Sure, why not? As I shrugged. You can’t imaginewhat had happened next.
Keep in mind that having put so much distance (space and time) between myselfand the original vision I sometimes wondered if it had all been just somesort of hallucination. at which time I was always assured deep within thatI had known the full extent of my fleshes ability to hallucinate. and thiswas not one of them. So off I walked, towards the steps at the front of theChurch. No sooner did I drop to my knees that I felt the hands of what seemedlike fifty men upon my head, shoulders, and back. Without so much as a thoughtI felt the filth of my offenses against God, the weight of my sins, fallingfast and in full measure upon the emptiness within me. I began crying outto Jesus with great sorrow for what I had done. And then a new vision came.I was in a deep dark place which had a “ceiling” that could not be seen,only felt. As I looked out across the expanse before me it was as if I werelooking “eye level” at millions of coconut sized domes, of the same natureas the beings in my first vision. They were moving up and down in big, slowwaves, none rising above the others nor dropping below, like the waves ona waterbed. I was conscious of the prayers of deliverance coming from themen “outside” and continued to survey my surroundings. That’s when I spottedit. Somewhere off in the distance I saw what looked like an arm reaching”in” from above, through the ceiling. It was transparent and seemed to beof the same material as me and the others only it was white. And then another,this time closer to me, and then two arms at the same time, from two separateareas. Suddenly a voice raged up within me as I realized and shouted. internally.”THEY’RE GETTING OUT OF HERE”. Not knowing where here was, but non the lesswanting out of its foreboding sense I threw my right arm up and shouted thatI wanted out. keep in mind on the outside I was crying and repenting withstammering lips the whole time. I could not see what grabbed my arm but suddenlyI felt myself raising above the “ocean” of domes. This lasted just long enoughfor me to realize the length, depth and breadth of this place waslike*well, it can only be matched by the experience of being out in the middleof the ocean, being able to see in every direction as far as the eye is ableand knowing that more exists “just over the horizon”. As soon as I was liftedup to about the point of my waist from the “mass” I fell silent. both withinand without. Physically I sat back on my heals for a minute, dumfounded andamazed at all that had just happened. I thought to myself, I was not on drugs.nor had I been for quite some time (and had never experienced any after effectseither). so what was that all about? My tears had stopped, the men beganto back away, and all I can say is that I felt “cleaner” and “fuller” thanever before in my life. I could feel that I was no longer empty and I juststood up and went back to a pew.
Sitting down with my head in my hands and the deepest peace on my heart thatI had ever felt, I looked up at one of the brothers who sat next to me andsaid “He forgave me, he forgave me of everything”. It was over the next twoyears that God began walking me through His word and began showing me exactlywhat His forgiveness meant. And that is how I was freed from Satan’s grip.
In conclusion:
I have since found my mother, and two year younger than I brother (aftera ten year gap), to become re-acquainted. Although my brother had weatheredthe storm in relatively good condition, my mother had been totally devastated.She had married three times, and found the bottom of many a bottle. Whatgot to me most I think though was that she had lost everything to her painof the loss of her husband and ended up as one of societies discarded. Althoughshe is re-married now to a wonderful man who takes great care of her, shehad spent a time as a homeless women. One of the people you see getting kickedout of “nice” places when looking for something to eat, sleeping (or passingout) wherever it felt “safe”, searching for food in trash cans, eating therotten things that others have thrown away. I was and still am very sensitiveto this and wish that I could reverse time and change my decisions. if onlyI would have… Recently our Lord has laid upon my heart that I am to ministerto a very special population of His children. He has called me to ministerto the women and children at risk in our cities. Those who have for variousreasons found themselves in need of a fresh place to start, a safe placethey can stay in order to “get on their feet”. It is for this very purposethat I have founded the non profit public benefit corporation called “EdwinCarol Ministries” (named after the tragic existence of my mother and father)long term residential facilities will be built to house those women, andtheir children, who have become helpless victims of a fallen world. We haveset our sights on pulling those whom the Lord sends from the grip of Satan;provide them with the opportunity to meet the savior Jesus Christ, whilewe minister to them out of His endless bounties of mercy and grace, livingout His example of unconditional love and personal sacrifice in meeting theirneeds.