My Empty Life

My Empty Life My Empty Life

My name is Kathy Wilson and this is my story.

I was raised in a home where my mother and my oldestsister took us to a Lutheran Church. I was there for 16years. I was baptized and confirmed at the age of 14. Even after Iwas confirmed, I was confused about the true way of salvation. When Iwent back many years later and looked in the notebooks my father hadsaved for me, I found the notation, “What is it really like toknow God?”

I went on in ignorance, got married when I was 21, had a son, thenmy twin girls when I was 30. At that time I remember thinking tomyself that “this is what life is all about.” But, I was also in amarriage that had been split up seven or eight times because of anunfaithful relationship. I began to realize what a mess my life wasin. I went to counseling with my minister and all he had to offer mewas a psychology book. Even though I was not saved at the time, Ithought it was really odd that a minister would not offer me anythingfrom the Bible, the Word of God.

At that time, I just turned to go my own way. My marriage wasbroken and I had no one in my life. I got into the nightclub scene. Iloved to dance and it got so that rock and roll was all I had touplift me. At the same time it was my downfall. I went on like thisfor nearly two years. But my life was empty. Oh, I loved my children,and I got up every day and went out and worked hard to provide a homefor them. But it got to the point where I would get up inthe morning and look in the mirror and I couldn’t stand myselfbecause I knew something was missing. Something was terriblywrong.

About this time, my friend Judy, at work, had started attending anindependent Baptist Church she had attended as a child.. She had justbuilt a house and was trying to fill her life with material things,but she felt a void in her life also. She began asking me if I’d liketo attend with her, and I didn’t respond at first.

But the Lord brought another woman, Barbara Lewis, to work with metemporarily because she had been injured and could not do her regularjob. She began to preach the Word of God to me. Every one around usabandoned the area when she started witnessing and preaching. Icouldn’t leave because this was my job area. But, I really would nothave wanted to leave. Something drew me to what this woman had tosay. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was a sinner and neededto get saved. (Note: “Saved” is a biblical term referring tothe forgiveness of sins by God and the rescue of a person from thepower and penalty of that sin. This is God’s requirement foreverlasting life. It is another way of referring to a person who hasbecome a “born again” Christian.) She opened the Bible andbegan to read from the book of John, chapter three, verse 16. I justlistened and thought to myself, “something is clicking here”. While Ididn’t really understand everything, it was enough of a nudge for meto seek out my friend Judy and ask her if I could take her up on heroffer to take me to church with her.

I got my two-year-old twins ready that next Sunday morning, and my10-year-old son, and we were off for church. I went for two weeks andlistened to everything that was being said. The Saturday night beforethe third Sunday, the Lord opened my heart and let me see myself forwhat I was — a sinner destined for hell if I didn’t get saved. Ihad no peace that night. I knew I had to get alone with God anddeal with this. I had read enough of the Bible, the books of John andRomans, to know what I had to do. That Saturday night, May14, 1981, I got down on my knees and acknowledged that I was a sinnerand asked the Lord to come into my heart and change my life.

The next day I couldn’t wait to get to church. Even though mychildren were there with me, I felt like there was no one around meand that the pastor was preaching just to me. I was convinced thatthose who were there could see my sin because the message was sopointed at me. During the invitation for people to come forward andget to know Christ as their personal Savior, I literally ran up theaisle. I was weeping as I told the personal worker that the Lord hadcome into my heart the night before, and I said that I so wanted myfamily to be saved also. I was so focused on getting up that aislethat I did not know until later that my son had come up right behindme and accepted the Lord as his Savior also. The Lord was so good tome, and I praise Him for that.

I continued living in Baltimore. About 1983, things began tochange at Western Electric where I had worked for 17 years. I felt Iwas being pulled in the wrong direction and I prayed to God to removeme from that atmosphere. Little did I know I would be moved toanother state.

I was offered a job at the Western Electric plant in Allentown. Itwas a big decision for me. I went to my ex-husband to see if thatdoor might still be open for me. After talking to him, I knew thatchapter of my life was closed and I jumped right in to finding a newlife in Pennsylvania. My sister lived with me for a couple of yearsuntil she retired in 1988 and moved back to Baltimore. I was prettylonely after that. I work with both men and women at work, and I hada number of men come up to me and ask me out. But, I had promisedmyself that I would not get involved with an ungodly man.

So I began to pray to God. I told Him I did not know if I even hada right to ask Him for a husband, but that I was lonely and I wouldlike to have a man that would lead and guide and direct my children.I asked for a man that reads the Bible and a man that would want tosit and have family devotions and share God’s word with his family. Iasked for a man that I. could have a spiritual relationship with andgood fellowship with.

I believe God gave me that husband when he gave me Scott Wilson.Our marriage has not been without problems. We all have problems. Butwe can always get down on our knees and ask God for guidance anddirection. For me, sometimes, that has meant I’ve had to go to myhusband and ask him to forgive me for trying to lead the family.After being a single mother making all the decisions for so long Ifind that I sometimes have a tendency to try and be independent. Atthose times I find it a comfort to turn to the Bible and read thebook of Ephesians, chapter five, verses 21 to the end of the chapter.”Submitting yourselves one to the other in the fear of God. Wives,submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as onto the Lord. For thehusband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of thechurch: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church issubject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands inevery thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved thechurch, and gave himself for it.” That helps me remember what a trueChristian home is like under Christ. I find if I submit myself firstunto the Lord, then unto my husband, most of the time everything justfalls into place. That’s the advice I would give to any young womanjust starting out in her married life.

Kathy Wilson lives in Boyertown, Pennsylvania with her husband,Scott, and their family. If you would like to hear more about theSavior that changed Kathy’s life, you are welcome to attend servicesat

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