The following are a smattering of examples of the “fig leaves” we wear: 1. We change the subject or crack jokes if an awkward or threatening subject arises. 2. We monopolize conversation, filling silences to keep others at bay and to keep from feeling like failures. 3. We live or die vicariously with a sports team. 4. We run from problems by watching TV, drinking, smoking, promiscuity, workaholism, compulsive eating. 5. We mock or “put in a box” those whose opinions or problems threaten our own commitments and behavior. 6. We get defensive, accusatory, testy, or talk loudly, or try to bully others to defend ourselves and make a show of competency. 7. We overdo penance by saying, “Poor me; I’m so horrible and such a failure,” by expressing maudlin repentance and wallowing in failures. 8. We minimize the seriousness of problems – “It’s nothing” – or the difficulty of change – “I promise “l’ll never do it again.” 9. We lie outright, to look good or to avoid looking bad. 10. We lie subtly, putting ourselves in the best light by innuendo, embellishment, or careful selection of data. This often accompanies subtle expressions of contempt or criticism for other people. 11. We think highly of our own opinions on every issue. 12. We tie up our identity in certain grandiose roles, like “counselor” or “parent” or “pastor.” Any of our functions and successes, real or imagined, can become fodder for self-deception. 13. We pray for help before performing a certain responsibility, and then rehearse our own success afterwards without thought of God.
David Powlison

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