Name: Stress Diet
Ingredients: 1/2 Grapefruit; 1 sl Whole wheat toast, dry; 8 oz Skim milk; 4 oz Lean broiled chicken breast; 1 c Steamed spinach; 1 c Herb tea; 1 Oreo cookie; Rest of the Oreos in package; 2 pt Rocky Road ice cream; 1 Jar hot fudge sauce; Nuts, cherries, whipped cream; 2 Loaves garlic bread with cheese; lg Sausage, mushroom & cheese pizza; 4 cn Beer -or-; 1 lg Pitcher beer; 3 Milky Way candy bars; Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

Though a man of sorrow, He was even on earth anointed with the oil of gladness above His fellows. Does this seem strange?... Shall we wonder that there was divine gladness in the heart of Him who came into this world not by constraint but willingly, not with a burning sense of wrong but with a grateful sense of high privilege, and that He had a blessed consciousness of fellowship with His Father who sent Him, during the whole of His pilgrimage through this vale of tears?

A.B. Bruce

CATEGORY	CUISINE	TAG	YIELD
Fruits, Dairy, Meats, Grains		Humor, Funny	1	Servings

INGREDIENTS

1/2		Grapefruit
1	sl	Whole wheat toast, dry
8	oz	Skim milk
4	oz	Lean broiled chicken breast
1	c	Steamed spinach
1	c	Herb tea
1		Oreo cookie
		Rest of the Oreos in package
2	pt	Rocky Road ice cream
1		Jar hot fudge sauce
		Nuts, cherries, whipped cream
2		Loaves garlic bread with cheese
	lg	Sausage, mushroom & cheese pizza
4	cn	Beer -or-
1	lg	Pitcher beer
3		Milky Way candy bars
		Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

INSTRUCTIONS

BREAKFAST
LUNCH
MIDAFTERNOON SNACK
DINNER
LATE EVENING NEWS
RULES FOR THIS DIET
1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar
are cancelled out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat
more than they do.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate,
brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are
part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal
fuel, such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and
Tootsie Rolls
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes
calorie leakage.
8. Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in
the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife
making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.
9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories.
Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white
chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for
any other food color. Posted to FOODWINE Digest 31 Mar 97 by Angele and Jon
Freeman <jfreeman@NETUSA1.NET> on Apr 1, 1997

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