The True Spiritual Aspects of A.I.D.S.

The True Spiritual Aspects of A.I.D.S. The True Spiritual Aspects of A.I.D.S.

By Paul Diamond

One man’s story of dealing with homosexuality andA.I.D.S.

Paul was one of Love In Action’s “old-timers,” first contactingthe ministry in 1977. His early letters in no way reflected what wasto come. Writing from his home in Oklahoma, Paul seemed enthusiasticabout his walk with Christ, his marriage and his efforts to start anex-gay ministry. Then the letters dropped off suddenly.

A few years later, Paul appeared on Love In Action’s doorstep.He’d left his wife, moved to San Francisco and plunged into a gaylifestyle. Now he was desiring to rededicate his life to Christ.

An aggressive, outspoken and highly intense person, Paulwholeheartedly gave himself to whatever cause he was pursuing. Duringhis time with Love In Action and Church of the Open Door (San Rafael,CA), Paul immersed himself in ministry and made deep impressions onall who knew him.

But when his desires to go back to his old lifestyle wouldovercome him, he would disappear. Two or three times, he came back tothe Lord for a brief period.

In 1984, Paul visited our director, Frank Worthen, at a time whenhe was thinking of returning to the Lord. Frank shared with Paul longinto the night, warning him about this “new” disease strikinghomosexual men.

Paul went home, promising to consider what Frank had said. Thenext day, he called Frank to tell him of his decision: He was goingto stay in his homosexual lifestyle.

About two months before his death on July 15, 1985, Paul made hisfinal return to the Lord. Although he was physically diminished froma half-year’s battle with Kaposi’s Sarcoma, and other infections, Godused Paul in some exciting ways. Right before he was hospitalized forthe last time, Paul wrote a small paper on AIDS and brought it to theLIA office. While he was in the hospital, one of our staff typed uphis paper on AIDS and made copies.

Our director’s wife, Anita, brought them to Paul, and he enjoyedhanding them out from his hospital bed. What follows is a copy ofPaul’s paper on AIDS…

“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favour lasts alifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in themorning” (Psalm 30:5).

AIDS has become the world’s number one health crisis, and themedical facts point to the epidemic becoming much worse before itimproves.

LIFE magazine had an article on AIDS in their July, 1985 issuewhich said: “AIDS is an epidemic that may change the way Americalives.”

Why has AIDS become such a problem? Are we supposed to be learningsomething from all this? Let’s take an honest look at AIDS from aChristian viewpoint.

The AIDS epidemic is the result of sexual sin, homosexual andheterosexual. We cannot escape the fact that God has allowed certainafflictions to befall his creation throughout history. There areexamples in the Bible in which God stepped into human affairs andsaid, “That’s it! The party is over.” (paraphrase mine). Sometimes wego too far, even for God, in believing we are infallible in anythingwe choose to do.

True honesty with ourselves will show us we are not infallible. Wemake mistakes and we need the person of Jesus Christ to heal ourlives.

I made a terrible mistake four years ago. I decided to leave theChurch and throw myself back into a gay lifestyle. I returned toschool and got a nursing degree, and felt like I was really coming upin the world.

Just before I graduated from nursing school, AIDS started showingup in the hospitals. There was a lot of hysteria in the nursingprofession. All we knew for sure was that many young people, mostlygay men, were dying gruesome deaths in the prime of their lives.

Two years after working as a nurse, I was diagnosed with AIDS. Atfirst, it never occurred to me that God might be letting this happento draw me near to Him.

After a seven-month battle with every aggressive disease process,I realized how much I missed Christ in my life. I asked God if Hewould take me back and got a resounding, “Yes”. “Humble yourselves,therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that He may lift you up in duetime. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter5:6-7). This verse shows me even though I have AIDS, God still caresfor me.

If you have AIDS or a pre-AIDS condition and are a stumbledChristian, God wants you back in the flock. He seeks us outdiligently and we cannot escape His love.

Once we accept Christ as our personal Lord and Savior, we are deadto sin and alive only to the new life in Christ. There is nothing orno one that can really satisfy us, because we already know the Truth.”Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old hasgone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Ask God for guidance.I am convinced He loves His children with AIDS very dearly.

Spiritual healing is much more important than physical healing.”Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wastingaway, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians4:16).

We must be willing to allow God to have complete sovereignty inour lives. Sometimes the Lord requires us to wait on Him. And if thatis the case, then all we can do is wait.

There will be nothing gained by asking Him why we have to wait.There is nothing in the Bible that tells us God has to explainanything to us. He has a sovereign right to ask us to wait because Heis our God, and His thoughts are far above our thoughts.

When we are dealing with a life-threatening illness, one of thepitfalls of our enemy, Satan, is to try to convince us to look for aphysical healing.

I do certainly believe it is God’s will that some persons withAIDS who come back to Christ will experience physical healing. But Ialso know all of us will most assuredly know the inner spiritualhealing only Christ can provide. It is vital we grasp this spiritualtruth early in our walk with Him. There are so many situations inwhich God asks us to wait for His glory to be revealed. This does notmean we put our spiritual growth on hold-no way!

This is the time when our growth should be more part of our livesthan ever. This is the point at which God will show us the courage Hehas created inside of us through the Holy Spirit. It is the time whenour faith and our spirits are strengthened.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; Iwill counsel you and watch over you” (Psalm 32:8).

Remember, we can love Christ only through obedience to Him. “Ifyou love Me, you will obey what I command” (John 14:15).

We worship a God who expects us to uphold a standard in our lives.He is a loving, merciful God and He will discipline His children. “Myson, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent hisrebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father theson he delights in” (Prov. 3:11-12). Even with AIDS in our lives, Godstill wants to do wonderful things in us and through us. “Trust inthe Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.

“Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil.This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones”(Proverbs 3:5-8).

God’s promises and His perfect love for us are worth more than theworld can ever offer. “All this is for your benefit, so that thegrace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving tooverflow to the glory of God” (2 Corinthians 4:15).

Christ has risen; peace be with you.