Why get married?

Not long ago, I heard a comment from a teenager as he and his male friends were discussing their approach to sex with girls:  “Your body, your [the girl’s] problem.”  This is a declaration of their freedom from any responsibility when a girl they impregnate finds out they are pregnant.

  • I will not stay around to care for you or our child
  • I will run away when faced with responsibilities
  • I am in this for my fun – not your long-term happiness
  • When I get tired of you, I will move on to someone else

Honestly, I struggle to see the difference between boys like this, and animals – except for a boy’s potential to be so much more than an animal.

When I met the woman who later became my wife…

  • We became friends over the course of 2+ years, starting in group settings
  • We wanted to protect each other
  • We took on additional responsibilities befitting our age and relationship – we ended relationships that could jeopardize ours
  • To protect my wife’s virginity and integrity, in case we didn’t get married for some reason (and to please God), I did not even kiss her until our wedding day
    • I had learned that a physical relationship interferes with the early development of deep friendship needed in marriage
    • Jesus earthly father, Joseph, demonstrated the Biblical view that sex before/outside of marriage is dishonorable.
      • Matthew 1:19:  “Joseph, to whom she was engaged, was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.
  • We did not even consider “living together” before marriage – she got her own apartment in my city after we were engaged
    • We basically didn’t “date”.  We went from close friends to “engaged” (which surprised even my parents)
    • I paid off a small car loan she had, because I was committed to our relationship and OUR financial well-being (which surprised HER parents)
  • We wanted to celebrate our commitment as husband and wife by being married in a public setting, with friends and family, so it was perfectly clear…
    • Public marriage is a declaration:  He is the one for me – and nobody else.  She is the one for me – and nobody else.
    • Public marriage can be a celebration – as Adam put it so well “At LAST!!!”  I have been waiting so long, for this one person matched to me.  Thanks God!  And thanks to our friends and family who have shaped and supported us!
    • We had no pre-nup agreement – we both dove in fully, with no reservations – full commitment

I have been married to this same woman for over 30 years, and love her more than ever.

  • I have stayed around to care for her and our children
  • I have handled (most) of my responsibilities well
  • I have brought her happiness
  • I thoroughly enjoy being with her, and am deeply committed to her and God – and she knows it!

What does God say about marriage?

  • 1 Corinthians 7:  it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife
    • Verse 9:  But if they don’t have self-control, let them marry. For it’s better to marry than to burn.
  • Hebrews 13:4:  Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
  • Matthew 22:2  The Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who made a wedding feast for his son…
  • Revelation 19:7  “Let’s rejoice and be exceedingly glad, and let’s give the glory to him. For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his wife has made herself ready.”

Marriage can be a good choice, but we should take that step wisely, knowing we must remain committed to each other:

  • Matthew 19:8-9  Jesus said, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so.  I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”

It is Satan’s style to steal and destroy.  He deceives us to take things [eg. sex] out of their proper/approved sequence, and ruin our lives.  It’s like eating the world’s best pizza, UNCOOKED!  Yuk.  Do marriage in its proper order and timing, and it can be a wonderful lifelong experience, full of blessings.