Dana_G._Robitille

“Buzz off … it’s my life and I’m going to live it MY way.”

I would have to say that I have possessed an awareness that God hadplans for me from my youth even though at that time I did not know who”God” was and had even less of a clue as to how he wanted to use me.

I was brought up in a moral Episcopal atmosphere at my mother’surging and received confirmation and baptism into “the Church” at aboutthe age of 13. I was baptized [read sprinkled] at that time when it wasdiscovered that I had not been previously.

My teen years had their share of stress and I had my bent towardrebellion. I remember when I was about 15 years of age looking upon agirl and saying in my mind … I’m going to get her <the implication issexual>. And I remember just as vividly these words coming through mymind; “If you do you will get her pregnant, get married and bedivorced”. It was GOD speaking <by implication HE did not want me to doit> I told him: “Buzz off … it’s my life and I’m going to live it MYway.”

Sure enough all that he had communicated to me came about with mydigging in my heels and fighting it all the way. Did HE will thatmarriage to fail? <NO> but he knew it didn’t have a chance and warnedme ahead of time … my motives for getting involved were all wrong.It’s unnecessary to bore you with all the messy details of thatmarriage coming apart at the seams … just enough to note that at theend of it I took refuge for a time in the booze bottle.

At that time I was 19 – 20 years old … in the midst of a divorce<divorce is always hell no matter how you cut it> the drinking age herein VT was 21 and over in NY it was 18 so often Friday and Saturdayevening involved a pilgrimage to the Saxony Lounge and Pavilion inRouses Point NY to start an evening of drowning my sorrows. I usuallywould get a two quart pitcher of Vodka Collins and start in. I rememberone evening as I touched the glass to my lips I again heard in my mindsome words: “I don’t want you to do this.” <God speaking again> and myresponse was “So What!” and I just kept on drinking.

My world was totally destroyed and I could see no way out … mywife <who was the center of my life> left taking my son with her <alongwith 1/2 of the income> and leaving me with ALL the bills. My “Grosswages” wouldn’t meet the bills and what I really wanted to do was DIE.I just couldn’t quite bring myself to kill myself though … so I’dtake the car out and play chicken with big trees on sharp corners athigh speeds. <It’s nothing short of a miracle that I made it past thispart of my life>

Finally I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to “die” and soI put a proposition to “God”. I estimated what I would need to get outof the mess I had made of my life and prayed: “God if there is a god,if you get me out of this mess in one year I am yours. In order to getout of this mess I’m going to need to live within walking distance ofwork, make about $160 a week, and have rent of about $100 a month.”<prayed this December of 1970)

With that I left it in “god’s” hands. I was looking forward to beinglaid off from work as soon as I graduated from the apprentice program<making Mini-Guns and Viet Nam was winding down quickly>. January of1971 a job offer came to me from GE in Fitchburg Mass … on acceptingthe job after testing I went to Fitchburg and a room came up for rentthe day I got there within walking distance of the plant for $100 amonth (util inc) My pay came out to $159 + change a week. I rememberedthe prayer that I had prayed in December and decided that I had betterfind out who God was … it seemed he was taking me up on my offer.

I was sure that God wasn’t in “Christianity” since I had never seenany example of anyone answering prayer in the Episcopal religion inwhich I grew up. My impression of Episcopalianism was a bunch of oldladies comparing hats on Sundays. Gossip abounded along with hypocrisyand I wasn’t favorably impressed. So I looked into Yoga, Occultism,White Witchcraft, etc.

At work one of the men wanted me to talk to his daughter she hadbeen getting involved in a strange cult and he was worried. He figuredmy head was on straight and maybe I could talk some sense into her. <Ifhe had only known how screwed up I was at that time> So I went to talkto the girl, she invited me to a rally to which I was inclined to go.It was a Jesus People rally … a bunch of hippie type peopleprofessing Jesus Christ. The rally way open air and got rained outroyally but that did not prevent me from arguing with the drummer ofthe band over reincarnation until I was so angry that I couldn’t seestraight.

I was also miffed that by the time I got done arguing theirliterature was all gone and I didn’t get any to check out <read pickapart>. On the way home I did manage to pick one of those papers up outof the gutter … it was a copy of The Catacomb Press , put out byClinton White in N.H.; on reading it I saw an offer for a “free” NewTestament and figuring that he was just another religious hypocrite Iwrote for it just to prove he wouldn’t send it.

A couple of weeks later I received a little package containing acopy of Good News for Modern Man, White’s testimony “Out of The Bellyof the Whale” and a tract explaining how to become born again.

The tract showed me that all I had to do was to personally receiveforgiveness for MY sins that I couldn’t do anything to meritforgiveness just accept the free gift of eternal life from God viaJesus Christ. I argued with God for another two weeks over thesimplicity of receiving forgiveness … I wanted to do something.Finally I agreed to do it HIS way. Then I picked up the new testamentin my hand and confessed to God that I had never read it, committedmyself to reading it through and asked HIM to open my eyes to see whathe wanted me to see in it.

The New-Testament became alive … it seemed like it was written forME and I was reading it every spare moment I could muster. I would readabout the apostles receiving the Holy Spirit and find myself saying”God I want that” … “Me Too”. as I was going through the testament.

I was also praying and fasting … I knew that God wanted me to goto college and I was praying for a sign to know when, recognition ofthat sign, direction on where to go, and that it be a sign I could notback down from. I dreamed of a White clapboard structure … with threedoors in the side … in my dream I entered the middle door, went upthe stairs, turned left and entered a room with chairs around, an alterrail, a podium, and an open bible on the alter rail.

One morning I went into work and the boss called me into his office.. he said “You are going to be fired”. I got recognition that this wasto me the sign I had been praying about! When he said those words I wasfilled with the joy of the LORD and grinning from ear to ear grabbedhis hand, shook it and thanked him. He didn’t know what had happenedbut Jesus baptized me in the Holy Ghost on the spot. My boss asked mewhat I was going to do and I told him I was going to school for theLord … he said where? and I said I don’t know the Lord will show metonight.

I went immediately to tell the man who wanted me to speak to hisdaughter … he also turned to the Lord … told me later that Iliterally glowed as I walked across the floor of the shop toward him ..that is one of the things that influenced him to make a commitment tothe Lord … he knew it was real!

After checking up a couple of blind alleys to see where the Lordwanted me to go I took a moment to ask GOD … and got the impression Ishould go to this girl’s house (it was about a 10 mile bicycle ride)and off I went. When I got there she was not there but the door wasopen and she had several college catalogues out on the coffee table soI went in, sat down and started to thumb through them. When I placed myhand on the one for Asbury College I KNEW that was where the Lordwanted me to go so I opened it up and started to see what was involved.

Then I saw the social restrictions … for freshmen double datingonly and it had to be cleared through the dean! I said “God you knowme! You are going to have to help me on that one.”<gulp> The next day Icalled the college to tell them that I was coming. They said that Ineeded a High School transcript, a physical report, and a ministerialreference from a church where I had been attending the last two years.

I called the High School I had graduated from … the principle hadjust quit in a feud and there was no one to authorize a transcript. Icouldn’t get a Dr to see me until after the date that I needed to be inschool, and I called the school to tell them that I had not been in achurch building in over two years. I went back to the place where I hadjust been fired from and asked personell to do me a little favor andhave the company Dr. do the physical … they agreed. A local ministerwho was involved with the Jesus People did the ministerial formregarding two of the ten questions relative to my conversion, and thecollege accepted the non-authorized transcript on a probationary basis.The Lord provided a ride and I was off to college.

At college I went through the registration line and they handed methe bill for the first quarter $757 of which I had nothing up front. Ipromptly got sent to the business manager and he said: “Kid you know itcosts alot of money to come to a college like this one, why did youcome without any? I told him the truth … “Jesus told me to come andI’m going to do what he says.” After clearing his throat he said: “Wellwhen can you have it paid off by?” to which I responded, “I haven’t gotthe faintest idea.” He said I need to put something down here, so Iasked the Lord in my heart and gave him the answer, “Put down pay bythe end of the quarter”. Which he did, then he told me that there wereno jobs on campus for freshmen so I asked the Lord in my mind again andgot the answer. I told him not to worry about it I would have as muchwork as I could handle within three weeks on campus. Within 3 weeks Iwas working on campus 35 hours a week and that business manager’s namewas appearing in the lower right corner of the check.

On looking out of the back window of the dorm I finally got assignedto … there was this white clapboard building with three doors in theside. I of course had a flashback of that dream I had had before I knewAsbury existed and just had to check out this building. I entered themiddle door, went up the stairs, turned left and there was that room,chairs, rail, podium, and open Bible that I had dreamed of so manymonths before. That room was the favorite meeting place of a handful ofus charismatical people to have prayer meetings for the next year atthe leading of the Holy Spirit.

The basic purpose of this year at college was to get me founded inthe Bible … then the Lord moved me out so that I wouldn’t become alegalistic fundamentalist … fundamentalist yes but not bound up bythe do this and don’t do that stuff.

That tells you how I got saved, received the Holy Spirit, andfounded in the scriptures, enough reading for now. Yes!

In Christ

Dana G. Robitille