Facing the Fear
Facing the Fear
by Russell Pond
It was early Saturday morning, and I had a job to finish for mycompany. San Antonio was only an hour’s drive from home. I had driventhere many times before, but this morning was quite different. Whathappened that day only lasted a few minutes, but the memory of itwould control my life for the next ten years.
As I entered the city, I noticed that my heart was beating quitefast, and I had difficulty breathing. What’s happening to me?My hands and legs started to go numb. This is a heart attack! I’mhaving a heart attack! My mind began to race. I’m goingcrazy. I just know I am. At that point, I just knew that I wasgoing to die. Oh Lord, please don’t let me die!
As it turned out, I didn’t have a heart attack. I didn’t go crazy,and I’m still alive to tell you about what I went through. I washaving what doctors call a panic attack.
Thoughts of dying or going crazy are common among people having apanic attack. One study shows that a third of the people who go to anemergency room for “heart problems” are there as a result of a panicattack.
Panic disorder is different from a panic attack. Anattack–although it is very terrifying–only lasts a few minutes.Panic disorder results from the long term effects of the attackitself. Complications of this disorder include the fear of havinganother attack, agoraphobia, and drug or alcohol abuse. According tothe National Mental Health Institute, between 20 and 30 millionAmericans suffer panic disorder.
Although panic attacks have been around for centuries, doctors arenow beginning to understand what causes these terrifying experiences.The human body has a natural, biochemical reaction to fear known asthe “fight or flight” system. In this system, the body prepareseither to run from danger or stand up and fight.
To illustrate this, imagine walking through a thick wilderness. Asyou approach a small river, you notice a large black bear feeding. Atthis point the bear hasn’t noticed you, but your body begins toreact. Your heart starts beating faster, and your blood pressureelevates. Your hands and legs begin to go numb, because your blood isbeing pumped to your legs for running and to your arms for fighting.Adrenaline is being released into your body. During all this, yourmind is focused on that bear, and not on your body. If the bear seesyou, then your body is ready to react.
Someone having a panic attack will experience the same symptoms:rapid heartbeat, numbing sensation in the hands and legs, andelevated blood pressure. Irrational fears arise because the personhaving the attack is “looking for the bear.” Since no external dangercan be found, the panic sufferer begins to listen to what their bodyis telling them. My heart is racing. Maybe it’s a heart attack. Mybody is going numb. I must be dying. Thoughts race through themind as the sufferer tries to “find the bear.”
Panic disorder is more common among women than men. For everyeight women diagnosed with this disorder, only one man will have it.According to the NMHI, panic and anxiety disorders are the leadingmental health problem in women. For men, it is second only to drugand alcohol abuse.
For years, I visited doctors in hopes of finding out what myproblem was. Each doctor I saw could find nothing wrong with me. Theydismissed it as either stress or “nerves”.
During my senior year at college, the panic attacks increased. Iwent to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with Chronic PanicAnxiety Disorder. It was actually a relief to know that I was notalone–that others were having the same problem I had. He treated mefor about three months with an anti-anxiety drug and behaviortherapy. The treatment, however, was not completely successful. A fewyears later, the fear returned.
In college, I discovered a temporary form of self medication knownas alcohol. Twenty percent of those who suffer panic disorder willturn to alcohol or drugs for temporary relief. Almost every night, Iwould drink to avoid dealing with the fear.
Two years after graduation, the alcohol and fear continued. I feltthat no one could help me. Depression eased its way into my life.Utterly hopeless, I prayed a simple prayer, “God, if You are real,then You can help me. You can take away this fear.”
After visiting various churches, I found one that I reallyenjoyed. It was quite different than what I was used to. Worship wasthe focus of this non-denominational church. I knew that this was theplace for me.
On my third visit, the pastor began speaking about this fear hehad experienced. I’ve heard many people talk about fear, but thistime it was different. I knew the kind of fear he was describing.Afterwards, he agreed to see me for counseling.
On our first meeting together, he asked me to explain what I wasgoing through. As I stumbled for words, he stopped me and said,”Better yet. Let me explain it to you.” As he began to describe thefear, I was shocked–someone could actually describe to me my fears.
The layers of hopelessness slowly began to peel away. Not only didI find someone who experienced what I had, but he was completely freefrom it. There was hope. For the first time in my life, I could seelight at the end of the tunnel.
From that day on, I began a quest. I wanted to learn as much as Ipossibly could about panic attacks and panic disorder. I startedcollecting every article I could find on the subject. I searched theBible for all references to fear. I read books by doctors,psychiatrists and psychologists who understand this anxiety disease.
In all of the researched information, I never found that overnightcure I so desperately sought. I was hoping for that “magic pill,” butthere was none. I soon learned that healing is a process.
After meeting with other panic sufferers, I learned that thehealing process is related to the length of the disorder. For thosewho had been experiencing panic attacks for only a few years, healingoften came in a few months. For others who had experienced this feartheir entire life, as my pastor and I, healing was a longer process.
Overcoming panic disorder starts with knowledge of the disorder.Knowing how the body reacts during a “fight or flight” situation canhelp tremendously when the next panic attack strikes. When the mindbegins to “search for the bear,” the sufferer can now understand whythese thoughts arise.
Doctors today have become quite knowledgeable about anxiety. Panicdisorder is one of the most curable mental health problems in today’ssociety. The sad news is that only one in four people seek treatment.Over ninety percent of those who do seek treatment can noticesignificant relief within a few weeks. If you feel you are victim ofthis fear, talk to your doctor. There is hope. Healing will come inits time.
For me, the Key to opening that door to healing was Jesus Christ.The Bible says that there is no fear in love, but perfect lovecasts out all fear, because fear involves torment (1 John 4:18,NKJV). That perfect love can come only through Jesus.
You may ask, “I suffer panic attacks and fear. Where do I begin?”You can start where I did–with prayer. Pray the simple prayer that Iprayed when I was in that tunnel of darkness. Ask God to revealHimself to you. Commit your life to Christ. Then, through Him, Godwill cast out that imperfect fear with His perfect Love. This iswhere healing begins.
Prayer this prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, I come to You defeatedby this fear. The Bible says that Your perfect Love casts out allfear, and I want to know Your Love. I know that I have not lived aperfect life before You, but there is One Who has, Jesus Christ. Icommit my life to developing a love relationship with Him. I can nowcome to You through Your Son and receive the peace You have for me. Iask all of these things in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
I hope this testimony has blessed you. If you would like to ask mesome questions about panic attacks or if you want some prayer, thensend me some email. I wouldlove to hear from you. Blessings!