My last memory of Bob and Joan _{(not their real names)} was at the end of a family party they had hosted at their home.  Almost all the guests had left, and there was nothing more to do, so Bob and Joan had moved into the family room, and were sitting on a couch beside the fireplace with a roaring fire going.  Joan was snuggled up next to Bob, and I could tell how much they loved each other – a wonderful thing after over 20 years of marriage.  It was beautiful to see – they seemed oblivious to anything else…just enjoying the moment of peace and togetherness.

This made an impression on me.  First, to see Bob’s soft side was a treat – normally I had only see him in factual discussions and doing technical work.  Second, I realized I wanted more peaceful moments for my marriage too – taking some down-time and just having appreciation for my wife and the life that God has blessed me with.

Fast forward about five years, and I barely recognized Joan when I saw her – her face was downfallen.  The love, peace, and joy seemed to be gone.  Her and Bob were still together, but I heard their relationship with one of their adult children had disintegrated, and I feared the anger from this ongoing problem was affecting them.  Their condition reminded me of a Bible message:

I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary.  But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.   Remember then from what you have fallen, repent and do the works you did at first. 

• Revelation 2:3-4

Remember then from what you have fallen.

Perhaps holding that anger about their grown child is doing Bob and Joan no good.  Perhaps they will realize how much better life was and can be, if they leave this worry in God’s hands, and open the door to reconcile as much with their adult child as they would with anyone who needs the salvation of Jesus, just as we all do.   Everyone has sinned – it’s just that some people are better at hiding their sin from others – but God isn’t fooled.  So none of us are superior to others – only some are missing out on the joy of God’s salvation and eternal life with Him.

Perhaps this message holds a key for how parents of wayward adult children can treat them no worse than strangers…

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

• Hebrews 13:2

We want to keep our side of the relational bridge intact, so one day the adult child can find their way back to restore the relationship.