Fig_Leaves_To_Kings_Robe
FROM FIG LEAVES TO KING’S ROBE
You may have heard the phrase “from rags to riches”. Wellmaterially, I am far from it, but spiritually speaking it fits mylife story very well. Thus, I chose to title the following testimony”From Fig Leaves to King’s Robe”.
Korea, also known as the land of the morning calm, was the placewhere I was born. During that time, Korea was under JapaneseImperialist regime. Like most Koreans who grew up under peacefulConfucius and Buddist teachings, my parents were not prepared tocope with the hostile situation. Later I was told that there wereshortages of everything when I was born, and I was but the fourth ofmy parents’ eight children.
The house in which I was born had been newly built. One of myfather’s cousins was a Christian, the wife of a deacon, and wasconcerned for my father’s soul. When she died, she had left asubstantial amount of money to my father with only one condition.This condition was that the money was to be used to build myfather’s house right in front of the country church. Of course, shemade that arrangement so that my parents could be exposed toChristianity.
That started my early association with the church of God. I rememberseeing some old faded photos where I was a ring bearer for a fewchurch weddings. Life around the church must have been a happy oneuntil my father had a dispute with the church pastor regarding theproperty line. My father became very bitter about the unfairdealings by the pastor. According to my mother, my father used tocome home drunk and made big scenes in front of the church todisrupt the church meetings. He even forbade my mother fromattending any church since that time.
Then World War II ended, and the Communists took over North Koreaincluding the small town where I grew up. We left just abouteverything to escape the Communists. After arriving in South Korea,my parents finally chose to settle down in Inchon, a sea port muchbigger than the town we left.
Like many other Korean parents, my parents were also determined toeducate their children through college. They knew that Korea wasoverrun by the Japanese because its people had failed to educatethemselves and catch up with modernization. So they were readyto sacrifice for their children’s education.
Being forbidden to attend church, my mother resorted to Shaman’s helpfor any difficult situations like the times when we became sick. Istill remember the boiled pig head on the table and the bamboo leavesshaking in the hands of the Shaman. The more she shook the bambooleaves, the more convinced we were that she had contact with thespirits.
Then the Korean War broke out which brought horrendous misery to somany Koreans. Those who survived the war became much more cunningand smart. Through the GIs and the missionary charity services wewere given fancy goods which we had never seen before. Missionariespoured in and more churches were built all over Korea.
My eldest brother brought me to Sunday school in nearby churches. Iremember attending Christmas and Easter programs. But at that time Ihad no idea about the reason for all those pageantries although Iremember hearing my father praising Confucian teachings. As usual,life in Korea was not easy. By then my father, who loved drinkingand parties, became an alcoholic and a womanizer. He neglected andeventually abandoned us. We lived poorer than all of our neighbors.And even now, I still wonder how my mother managed to pay our schooltuitions year after year.
To my parent’s joy, I did well, especially in the area of academicsand was an obedient student to the delight of all my teachers.When the Boy Scouts were first introduced in my town, I was chosen tojoin the experiment. From the very beginning, I enjoyed Boy Scoutlife – the outdoor living, the group activities, and especially doinggood deeds for my fellowmen. I became a self-disciplinarian, greatlyinfluenced by my school principal who was also a self-disciplinarianpatterned after the teachings of Confucius. I not only built up mybody by weight-lifting but built up my character as well usingBenjamin Franklin’s self-disciplining method.
Through the Boy Scouts and other activities that were held around theUSIS (US Information Service) building, I was deeply impressed by thethings of America and the West. I was a frequent visitor to the USISlibrary where they also showed film strips every weekend. I satthrough most of the USIS’s free films and read many of their librarybooks and magazines. One of the books I still remember having readwas the autobiography of Booker T. Washington, a negro educator.Reader’s Digest became my “Bible” as well.
To me, knowledge was everything; knowledge freed people from bondage.I read a lot, absorbing as much as I could. I became an intellectualwho embraced the philosophies of men above all else. It was at thistime that my dream was to become a sailor so that I could travel allover the world as a free man. Also during this time, a friendinvited me to his Catholic church. I did attend some masses withhim, but to a young intellectual, the religiosity of Catholicism didnot appeal to me much.
In the meantime, my mother contracted a serious illness. Elder Park,a cult leader like Jim Jones, was conducting miracle healing allover Korea at that time. My mother attended one of those meetingsand was cured, as she thought, by his healing. Since then, shebecame our resident preacher in our home. At almost every meal, mymother preached to us to repent of our sins and get the baptism bythe Holy Spirit. We all learned to shut off our ears during thosemeals and to leave home as soon as we could.
I left home when I was 16 to attend a high school in Seoul, thecapital city of Korea. All of the bright students in Korea weresupposed to attend schools in Seoul. Therefore I was one of thosewho went to one of the best high schools in Seoul. I was glad toleave home even though I suffered from homesickness and loneliness attimes.
While living at home, the pressure from my mother to repent hadincreased day by day. To be a filial son, I had obedientlyaccompanied my mother to those revival meetings where miraclehealing were conducted. I had witnessed with my own eyes a miracleor two. Even though I was greatly impressed by what I saw, I wasskeptical of Elder Park’s claim that he was an instrument in thehands of God. Enough reports had leaked out of Elder Park’s communethat discredited his sainthood. Despite these reports, spiritualaffairs held me much intrigued during that time of my life. So Ihad read books on Buddism, which was a prevalent religion in Korea,as well as Existentialism by Camut and Kierkegard. I had also readthe books of the New Testament in English to learn more aboutChristianity.
Since I left home, I had to support myself by tutoring the childrenof a rich family and boarding with them. I was still a model studentand had to remain one in order to maintain my scholarship. I wasalso quite a serious young man who used to argue that education wasthe ultimate answer for all of Korea’s problems. I even joined theliteracy campaigns. Seeing such a solemn and idealistic man in me,my high school mates used to call me a Korean “Don Quixote”.
Can a man whose parents had split up and who had nothing much inpossession still be proud of himself? Yes, in fact it was my PRIDEthat kept me going. I was proud of my intellect and my schoolgrades. Because my time was bound by my duty as a tutor, I had notime for extracurricular or social activities. Undoubtedly, Igraduated high school as a valedictorian. But I was a lonely youngman whose best companion were books.
Having lived with PRIDE for so long, I am very well acquainted withit. Pride is nothing but fig leaves that one puts on to coverup his nakedness. It is a defense mechanism to cover up a deepfeeling of inferiority. I was the proud “Don Quixote” who believedthat he could become whatever he wanted to become simply by tryinghard with sheer will power.
As I matured into the college age, things didn’t turn out the way Ihad imagined. I began to realize that after all, I could neitherkeep the annual resolution nor the strict moral standard I had triedto achieve. It was during that time that what is called the feverof first-love hit me hard. I found myself pining after a co-ed whowas much older than I. My grades fell as I day-dreamt. It becamevery difficult to concentrate on school work. I hated finding myselfin such a vulnerable condition. The harder I tried to shake off theemotion, the more love-sick I became.
Not knowing how to relate that feeling in the real world – I wasliving in the world of books, you see – I became a withdrawn man. Iturned to a little drinking and smoking and excessive music listeningfor comfort and solace. I fell into temptation and youthful lustwhich shattered all my pride. By then my grades were such that I wasbarely hanging on.
It was during that time that I attended an English-speaking JOY YouthClub. It was a Christian fellowship group that attracted those whowanted to practice speaking English. The club counselor who was anAmerican missionary used the New Testament as our discussionmaterial. As I look back, I read the Bible mainly to acquaint myselfwith the world’s most renown piece of literature and at the same timeto have an upperhand over my mother on the subject of God. Yet, as Iread on in the Bible, the Book gradually convicted me of my sins.
“For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”Romans 3:23.
At that time, I regarded Jesus as a good moral teacher and thoughtthat religious fanatics like my mother had gotten him all wrong. Butit was there at the club that I met some good Christian brothers andsisters whose lives reflected the peace and joy that I did not have.The Christianity they lived was quite different from what I saw in mymother and her associates. By then, I had no problem acknowledgingthat I was a sinner. When the counselor used Matthew 11:28 to offeran invitation to accept Jesus as saviour, I raised my hand andprayed the sinner’s prayer to receive the peace and joy Christpromised to those who accept Him in their hearts.
“Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and Iwill give you rest.” Matthew 11:28.
At that time I was tired of a lot of things but most of all of beinga lived-in tutor. There was a college dormitory run by thePresbyterian Missionary. The church I attended belonged to thatdenomination. One of the requirements for admittance to the dorm wasbaptism by the denomination. I joined the Presbyterian church as amember and got baptized quickly to secure a space at the dorm. ThePresbyterian group was quite liberal in doctrine. All students inthat dorm were also liberal Christians who were politically oriented.There, all seemed to agree that the real answer for all problems inKorea was political reformation.
Meanwhile the Students’ Uprising of 1960 broke out which overthrewthe existing government and set the stage for a military government.Some of my friends in the dorm were imprisoned later by the militarygovernment for planning socialistic insurrection. My growth as anewly born again Christian was minimal under the teachings of thatliberal Presbyterian group because the gospel I heard was very muchlike a social gospel.
About the time when I graduated from college with a bachelor-of-lawdegree, I was worn out by love-sickness. And then came the call ofmilitary duty from the government. It was a welcome escape. Iremember my boot camp experience as the loneliest time of my life.No one came to visit me and every letter I ever received from homecontained grim news. My dear elder sister was dying of tuberculosisand we did not have money to put her in any hospital. She was prayedover many times by famous faith healers of that time but without muchimprovement. Of course she was blamed for her lack of faith whennothing improved. After much suffering she was reduced to skin andbones and eventually died.
My only consolation during that time was reading the pocket NewTestament that one of my church friends gave me. I served four yearsof military duty as an Air Force officer living mostly in remotemountain tops manning radar sites. For a year or so I spent most ofmy leisure time preparing for the bar exam but soon lost myambition and interest in pursuing a career in Korea. I knew that theway of the Lord was the right way but I lived like many otherofficers doing what was right in their own eyes.
Anyway, I was very much disillusioned with the way things were goingin Korea and with the way I was living too. I wanted to go abroad tostart a new life in America. The only way to get out of Korea atthat time was to get an admittance from an American university and asponsor who would guarantee my tuition. Those I did manage to obtainabout the time I finished my military duty. As soon as the KoreanAir Force released me, I left Korea with a suit case and just $100cash in my wallet.
I went to Oklahoma State University as a foreign student. The StudentCounseling job at the university provided for my room and board, butI had to earn the tuition. Every vacation and recess found meworking to earn my tuition. Sometimes I had two or three jobs andthus had to catch up on sleep even during breaks. During that time,I met a few good Christian couples, American as well as Korean. Bythen I had seen many different life styles, and found Christianmarriages to be the most desirable.
One Korean Christian couple who frequently satisfied my hunger forKorean food was a member of the Church of Christ. I went along withthem to their church and enjoyed their Bible studies. Another couplewho treated me with nice Korean dinners was Mormon. They neverinvited me to their church but their clean religious exampleimpressed me a lot. There was also a couple of American families whoinvited me to their homes for Bible study fellowship and desserts. Iwanted a happy home like what I saw. I began to pray for a Christianwife.
My main goal at that time was to get a Master’s degree and thensettle down in the USA with a Christian wife. As soon as I made somemoney, I wanted to help my poor family in Korea. It was during myusual summer job in New York city that I heard of Billy Graham’s SheaStadium Crusade. I went to the Crusade alone and rededicated myselfto the Lord. I repented of my sin and my pride.
One female co-worker at my summer job had a friend who had gone tothe same Crusade. After hearing my Crusade testimony, she insistedthat I meet her friend, which I complied to do. Her friend was agood Christian woman well grounded in the word of God. Herencouragement and emotional support meant a lot during that time. OurChristian friendship developed into an even deeper kind offriendship. When I graduated from the University, we were marriedand settled down in New York.
My wife’s former roommate was an avid Family Radio listener. Thanksto her, my wife started to listen to Family Radio and became a fan.She often left our radio tuned to Family Radio. I came to likelistening to it also. Family Radio had been airing Calvary Baptist’schurch services. After hearing Dr. Stephen Olford’s sermons severaltimes on the air, we decided to attend his church. Until that time,we had been church-hoppers, visiting all kinds of churches includingWitness Lee’s local church, which turned out to be a cult.
Dr. Olford was a man who radiated a sanctified life. Every word ofhis sermon drove home in my heart. We sought to become members ofthat church. It was then a black deacon asked me if I was born again.I got upset with him for asking such a personal question. But then Irealized that I didn’t have the blessed assurance most otherChristians have. Instead of looking at the author and finisher of myfaith, I was examining myself critically and taking note of all myfailures as a Christian. I was still looking out to the world andmyself from my own perspectives. I was trying to become a goodChristian with my own strength.
When we heard an announcement on Family Radio about its summer Bibleconference at Keswick, we went with anticipation to hear God’smessages. I had an excellent time there learning about Logos living,that is living by the word of God. Another thing that stood out wasthe sweet Christian fellowship. We met and got to know many godlypeople. And before the end of the conference I was given a chance towitness publicly. As I testified what the Lord had done in my life,I felt a definite sense of the Spirit of God anointing me. I returnedhome a changed man with the full assurance of my salvation. Mytremendous hunger for the Word led me to read the Bible fasting. Istarted to see things from God’s perspective agreeing with God on allpoints.
I wanted an instant fix for my spirituality and sought for theability to speak in tongues by attending a Charismatic church inBrooklyn New York in the evenings while attending Calvary Baptistchurch in the mornings. We even attended a Bible conferencesponsored by the Charismatic church. By doing so, I thought I wasreconciling to the religion of my mother and my elder brother wholater became an ordained minister of the Assembly of God.
One of the wonderful things which happened while we were at Keswickwas an invitation by the vice president of Family Radio for me toconsider working for Family Radio as an accountant. It was quite anunexpected offer, but we were pleased to have been considered. Whatkept us from responding to the call quickly was the relatively lowsalary we were offered and our fear of moving to a totally new placein California known to New Yorkers as earthquake country.
It took a few months of praying and counseling before we were surethat it was the will of God to respond to the call. Soon, we werehappily selling most of our possessions to follow the Lord’s call toserve. I was then full of zeal, feeling as if I were walking oncloud nine, and even speaking in tongues. I thought God would use meto bring Charismatic zeal to Family Radio.
It was quite a step of faith on both of our parts to leave ourcomfortable living, combined salaries, and many friends to go toCalifornia, which may any day go down under the Pacific Ocean. (Wouldyou believe that such concern was real to us then?) But God gave usthe joy of walking by faith. While learning to adjust to Californianlife style, we also learned how to stretch dollars by means ofcoupons and thrift shops.
After visiting many churches (Charismatic churches being the first),we settled down at Fairhaven Bible Chapel, a brethren type churchwhich we have attended for the last 16 years. We chose to attend thechurch because its humble atmosphere was inviting and the humility ofthe elders was impressive as well. It is a church where every one isexpected to exercise his or her gift for the edification of the body.And almost all its members were ministers of the Word. I realizedquickly how little I knew of the Bible and attended all of the Biblestudies, including the midweek Bible studies, and most of theseminars that my church has sponsored.
One of the elders who was a member of the staff of the Navigators waskind enough to disciple me for a year or so. He made sure that I wason a solid Biblical ground and built in me the basic Christiancharacters. I also learned how to be a good husband and also thehead of our home. The Lord blessed me with two children andparenting became my priority. Because it had good programs for youngparents and a good support group as well, I owe a lot of my Christiantraining to the body of the church.
Serving at Family Radio has been a great blessing too. I have theprivilege of listening to the edifying teachings and music itbroadcasts all day long while at work and even in the evenings. Itis like being in a full-day Bible school. Mr. Camping, who is thePresident and General Manager of Family Radio, has been a tremendouschallenge to my walk with the Lord. Once a week, he also teaches usfrom the Scriptures on the things of God. It took a couple of yearsof study with him before I could see that tongues, dreams and visionsare no longer valid. Well, that was the end of my zeal for theCharismatic movement.
Seeing from the inside how the Lord guides and blesses the ministryof Family Radio day to day is also a tremendous experience as well.My family has been given the annual privilege of attending theFamily Radio summer Bible conferences every year since the time Ifirst served at Family Radio. The Summer Bible conferences have beenthe source of encouragement and learning as well as fun for the wholefamily. To see my children grow in the fear and nurture of the Lordis a great delight, not to mention the pleasure I experience as mywife becomes a better friend and companion and further enriches mylife. I am indeed a happy and fulfilled man in Christ Jesus.
While all this was happening in the States, I heard that the woman myfather was with had abandon him because he was dying of bleedingulcer. I went back to Korea to take care of my father. I brought myfather to my mother’s apartment and ministered to him as much as Iknew how to until he died. I believed he died a saved man. And Ishould be very happy to know that he died a born-again christian,shouldn’t I ? Yes, I was, but I felt that there was also a part ofme that was still angry with the way my father had lived his life andwanted to see him pay for it himself. But then I realized, it wasChrist Jesus who paid the price on the cross for my father’s hard-to-forgive sins and evil lifestyle. There was actually nothing leftthat should make me cry for vengeance.
That’s when I fully understood the meaning of the parable of Matthew20:1-16, the story of the laborer who received the same payment of apenny even when he joined the labor force late. The grace that savedme also saved my father. It is God who saves and it is His pleasurethat saves all those upon whom He will have mercy. None deserves Hismercy and grace. The fact that my father who hardened his heart solong by sinful living could still come to God for mercy was the workof wonderful grace.
Before then, I had been struggling to reconcile in my mind the free-will doctrine of my church with the Calvinistic reformed doctrine ofFamily Radio. But then all became clear to me that it is God’s gracealone and none of my works that caused me to be able to come tosalvation. I have no apologies now for my being a five pointCalvinist. I know from deep in my heart that it was God who guidedmy life from birth until now to let me see that nothing of my ownability or intellect could help me to attain the grace of God. Itwas all by His good pleasure that I am what I am. He redeemed me byHis work on the cross and doubly won my heart by His patient dealingswith me over all these years.
How did He do that? He did it by first planting His Word in thehearts of those who became good models for me and then finallyplanting His Word in my own heart. He cleanses me daily by hisWord, not by the feeling that I experienced but by the washing of mymind, heart and will by the pure water of the gospel. As a result, Iam more than persuaded that the Bible alone in its entirety is theinfallible Word of God, by which every man should live with faith,and that Jesus Christ is the sole answer to all the problems of theworld. I have also resolved in my heart to live the rest of my lifeas a witness of His grace and mercy. My goal is to declare as muchas I can of the blessed Word of God to the lost world.
Indeed it is by the grace Jesus showed by becoming poor that I ammade rich in Him. I was poor and totally depraved. But God in Hisgood pleasure made me not only one of His sons who are clothed in therobes of the King’s righteousness but also a joint heir with JesusChrist. What a rich man I am. Praise God!
“For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he wasrich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through hispoverty might be rich.” 2 Corinthians 8:9
Richard Yim. 1991.