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#15-4: Summertime and the Living Is... Easy?!?!

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#1 · June 7, 2012, 10:11 am

Posted by: virginiaknowles <virginiaknowles@...>



Dear friends,


Welcome to the June issue of the Hope Chest e-magazine.  I missed doing one for May, but that's life and that's OK.  I have, however, done a lot of blogging, so there is a lengthy list of posts at the bottom of this newsletter.  You may notice that I started a new Worthy Cause theme on my main blog.  I have also resurrected my Equip & Encourage Blog Carnival on my mommy blog.  I somehow managed to forget my password to Simply-Linked and can't recover it, but this is a blessing in disguise since I then switched to http://www.LinkyTools.com, which allows picture thumbnails for linked posts.  Check it out and add your link at Equip & Encourage!  I've already added links for several of my blog posts, and I'd love to see what you have!  Your posts can be of anything interesting to the target audience, which is generally Christian moms.  So posts could be about mothering, marriage, homemaking, education, crafts, devotional, missions and outreach, what life is like at your house, something new you've been learning, something you're frustrated about, a book review, etc.  It doesn't have to be a recent post, so feel free to dig into your archives and bring out a favorite!

Yes, that is our new family picture above, taken in our living room on Mother's Day with all ten of our children, two sons-in-law and two grandsons, all miraculously smiling at the same time!  If you want to see the silly version, along with a gorgeous photo of my baby grandson, click here: Knowles Family Photo May 2012

Many of you are starting new "schedules" for the summer.  Our home school co-op let out a month ago for three of the kids and the other three school age kids who were in public school finished up last week, so we're trying to figure out how to make the summer both fun and productive. We still have a bit of school work to finish up for the year, and I, of course, want them all to continue to read every day.  We've also revamped the household responsibility charts and talked about possible fun activities.  The YMCA and the public library (especially with the chess club!) are going to be regular stops for us.  Two of the boys are going to summer camp for a week with our church youth group, and one daughter is going on a trip to San Francisco (where I lived for much of my childhood) with my mother and my niece.  (I am so jealous, but at least I'm flying up to Maryland with her for a family reunion before they leave!)  A teenage daughter just got a job at Chick-fil-A -- and guess who will be driving her there at 5:30 AM sometimes?  Ah, what mothers do.  And then we've got the "stuff" that happens, like a child who needed two stubborn baby teeth extracted or the other bajillion medical and dental appointments I need to make before school starts again!   So, yeah, we're trying to figure out how to make it all work and keep the troops reasonably happy.  And I write to stay sane.

Looking ahead to the fall, we have finally decided to continue with our home school co-op this year.  As of this moment, it looks like we will have four there (in 2nd, 6th, 8th, and 10th grades), one staying in public elementary (4th grade), one dual enrolling in the local community college for her senior year of high school, one finishing an AA at the community college before moving on to UCF, and one already at UCF nursing school.  To be honest, I am nervous about this year.  Last year was really tough for our family (school and more) and I'm hoping we're not in for a repeat performance.  One thing that will be a little different about co-op for me is that I will be teaching 5th-6th grade English instead of 7th-8th, so some of my curriculum will be changing. I will bring two of the novels (Johnny Tremain and Caddie Woodlawn) down to the lower level by adjusting the study guides I wrote.  Then I am adding in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis and The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster, a very fun modern classic from 1961 that is still well-loved today. Rather than winging it for the rest of language arts, I am tentatively planning on using A Beka Language C and Spelling, Writing and Vocabulary 6.  Have any of you used these?  Did you like them or not?  I need to make my final decision by tomorrow so folks can start looking at the used curriculum fairs.  Feedback on this or anything is highly appreciated!

It's been fun keeping up with my adult daughters on Facebook.  My daughter Mary writes of her son: "Current
favorite sound: Jacob walking around the house singing the alphabet.
Well, at least the four letters he currently knows: "A, B, E"
... and, best of all, "dubba-dibba-dubba" (W)."  I can't believe his second birthday is in just a couple of weeks!  Where did the time go?  It seems like his mommy was just toddling around our little Maryland town house singing the ABC song while sic holding on to her Jesse Bear!  Julia posts pictures of her vacation to North Carolina, where her husband's family has a cabin, and I recall our own NC vacations when she was a little girl.  Rachel, my classical music lover, posts a link of Anne Hathaway singing "I Dreamed a Dream" for the upcoming movie Les Miserables. Then Joanna, after reading her humanities textbook, whipped out the following poem "in three minutes" to post in an FB note.  Gah.  If only I could do that.


"inspired
by 20th century"

by
Joanna Knowles

as
he was walking down the street

looking
down at those shoes that so badly needed to be shined with a rag

already
made black

with
the grease of all the shoes of Brooklyn,

he
saw the street on which we now walk,

 

as
we busily scurry to the next diner, which used to pipe the ragtime
blues

and
now just holds the echoes.

 

to
the next museum, which frames the rag with which those shoes were
shone

of
the man who walked on

this
ground, repaved. in 1937, '63, '78, 2012,

a
hundred times in between.

 

but
to him, he was in that moment...

which
we, now, call history.

but
to him,

was
the mundane.

 

that
penny on the ground, stamped with 1925

is
one he would kick to the gutter without

a
second thought

but
we would pick it up and polish it off and sell it

for
a million pennies

before
a second passed

 

history
is a funny thing

the
moments of a day to day life, so seemingly insignificant

but
then studied, analyzed, in decades to come

as
we seek to grasp our similarities

as
we exclaim about our newfangled discoveries

made
since those days

 

those
days

of
vintage sepia, grainy black and white

but
that ground he was looking at was in full brick color

and
when he looked up to see that streak of blue bird across the sky

and
Orville and Wilbur were brought to mind

 

we
see that bird, we think Boeing 747

nature-inspired,
now technologically-feasible flight uninhibited,

breakthroughs
made!

we
are the generation who revolutionized this place

called

earth.

 

but
no, not true

generation
upon generation

thought
built upon thought

civilization
osmosis uninhibited.

we
pull from the past and propel to the future

doing
our take-and-give part in this hazy progressive mystery

called 

time. 

Sigh. Yeah. I'm right in that as a mom. Generation upon generation.  Thought built upon thought.  Past to future.  Take and give.  And yes, life is definitely a "hazy progressive mystery" right now.  Thanks, Jo, for letting me use your poem.  My littlest daughter doesn't have Facebook, but she's still really good at face time!  A little bit ago, she just hopped off my lap after recounting her favorite field trip (from her brief public school stint) -- all about owls and tortoises at the nature center. She left to go eat some pancakes and then came bursting back into my bedroom.  "Guess who loves you, Mommy?  God and Jesus!  And Daddy and rest of the family!  I love you, Mommy!"  Sweet thing, giggling from tickles and clomping around in my shoes.

*~*~


Summer Links from Other Favorite Blogs!  

These are just a few I have found via Google Reader, my favorite way to read blogs.

And now on to this month's Hope Chest two feature articles:


A Desk for Mom (Featuring Habitat for Humanity)


June 1, 2012

Dear friends,


I haven't had a desk in about 15 years -- until two days ago.  I've cobbled by with the big bookcase next to the comfy chair in my bedroom, and stashes of paper hanging out here and there.  But I'm really trying to be more organized and productive, so I decided to get back on track by setting up my very own desk area instead.  I wanted it in my bedroom so I could have a little privacy, and so everyone else would be less likely to dump their junk on my desk.  (Yeah, that was sure to happen.  They do that in my bedroom too, but I'm going to be fierce about protecting my turf now.)


Eager to get started, I went to ReStore (a thrift store operated by Habitat for Humanity -- more on that later) looking for a desk, and instead found the black chair for $15.  That's my favorite thrift haul for the week.  When I got home, I got so antsy to get going that I decided to rummage around the house and see what I could come up with for a desk.  That's called "thrifting at home" or, what Grandma would say, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without!"  In our computer room, I found the desk, which was holding an electric piano.  I shifted that to a different surface, and got my teenage son to help me move the desk, which is now occupying the space where I had the bookcase and chair before.  I had to move some wire shelving, a second easy chair (now in the boys' room), and a small bench that was between the two chairs.  When I moved the desk, I replaced a loose screw, and when I moved the bookcase, I hammered in the loose nails along the backside.  I also had to wash walls and scrub carpet stains.  Then too, I had to shift around the calendar and other wall hangings.  The ceramic bells (from Venezuela) were a gift from my husband when we were first dating.  
The SUCCESS poster (bought half price with a coupon from Michael's several months ago, but just now hung) has a quote often misattributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson but actually written by Bessie Anderson Stanley: 

To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. 
This is the meaning of success.  

It's really important to focus on truths like that to help me work at what is significant in life instead of trifling away the hours.



The basket of folders and magazines sits on the (relocated) small bench next to the desk.
There is a small trash can under the bench. 

A three hole punch and a narrow Longaberger basket (a long ago gift from my mom)
fit in nicely behind the lap top.  The kids have a bad habit of taking my lap top

to other rooms, and leaving it here and there. I'm worried that all this jostling and cord bending will shorten the life,
so the new rule is:  "Lap top stays on the desk unless you have specific permission from mom!"

When I need to take it somewhere, it goes in a travel bag under the desk. 

Under the desk, the blue cabinet with three drawers holds various kinds of paper and stationary,
health files, and school papers. (Until recently, it was in our storage room.)

A file box on top of desk holds labeled folders and papers to be filed.
It's not the prettiest looking thing, so I put a more appealing box in front of it.

The framed poem is my Seven Blessings for One Marriage,  also a good reminder.  

One blessing says, "Purpose: As you embark on a journey of excellence together
Move forward faithfully and fruitfully as partners
On your mission, a grand adventure of faith and destiny." 

 

On the bookcase, two organizers hold office supplies, jump drives, charge cables,
and small personal care items like tweezers and nail clippers.

The small basket on the right holds vitamins and supplements divided up
into a baggie for each day. I need to get in the habit of taking them!
On the shelves above, a little Mary Engelbreit style: a card
("Friends, books, cheerful heart and conscience clear

are the most choice companions we have here."),
gift bag (repurposed to hold my receipts), and mini tissue box.

A basket next to the recliner chair holds books I am currently reading.
I also put a clamp lamp on the bookcase tilted toward the chair

for extra light while reading. 


So that is my new desk area.  I tried to include some pretty, sentimental, and inspirational items to keep me motivated.  It is a happy place for me.

As I mentioned in my last post, I started a new blog theme, A Worthy Cause, in which I highlight charitable organizations that are making a difference in their communities and/or globally.  Today, I'd like to feature Habitat for Humanity.

"Habitat for Humanity is a nonprofit, ecumenical Christian ministry founded on the conviction that every man, woman and child should have a decent, safe and affordable place to live. We build with people in need regardless of race or religion. We welcome volunteers and supporters from all backgrounds."

How can you help Habitat fulfill this mission here in the states and around the world?

  • Donate money.  Simple, huh?  Or maybe a car?  They resell those to support their projects.

  • Donate extra building supplies and household goods to be sold in their ReStore thrift shops.  Got a spare door -- or even a door knob?  A box of extra tiles left over from remodeling? A gently used dresser, throw pillow or toaster oven?

  • Shop at ReStore!  If you're going bargain hunting, why not do it for a worthy cause? I have found ReStore to be very reasonably priced with a good selection of stuff, including nice furniture donated by hotels.

  • Volunteer to help build a house or work in a Restore.  Hey, Habitat even has age-appropriate youth programs for kids ages 5 and up to make a difference!  Click the link to find fun ways (like on-line games) to explore what it means to help others with housing.  Teens who are 16 and up can actually be active on constructions sites.  What a way to log in your high school volunteer hours! 

What do you think?

What can you do to motivate yourself toward greater productivity and organization?



And, can you help Habitat for Humanity?  Let's, like Bessie Stanley Anderson said, "Leave the world a little better... [with] a redeemed social condition."

Brought to you from the desk of Virginia Knowles...



Blessings,

Virginia

http://www.VirginiaKnowles.blogspot.com


A Delivery System for Grace and The Freedom to Be Different and Vulnerable 

(Reflections on Grace-Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel)


Note: This is an excerpt from a longer article.  You can read the rest of it by clicking the link at the bottom!



Dear
friends,

I
guess it's been a while since I wrote another installment in my
Grace-Based
Parenting series
on
the book
by
Dr. Tim Kimmel. I'm sure you'll give me a little grace on that, won't
you?

If
you are new to the series, you can read the other posts here:

In
today's post, partly to make up for lost time, I am going to cover
three chapters:

  • Chapter
    6: A Delivery System for Grace

  • Chapter
    7: The Freedom to Be Different

  • Chapter
    8: The Freedom to Be Vulnerable

Here
we go! Dr. Kimmel's words from the book are in italic, interspersed
by my commentary in normal font.

A
DELIVERY SYSTEM FOR GRACE

In
this chapter, Dr. Kimmel again contrasts parenting by legalism vs.
parenting by grace.

"In
one sense, legalism is a lazy man's religion.  It's an empty
Sunday suit that doesn't require much of a personal relationship with
God. It doesn't require much thinking either.  You simply
memorize the list of things that good Christians do, and then you try
to check off as many as possible during the week.  You also
study a much longer list of things that Christian's don't do.  You
have to work overtime to avoid doing those things, while at the same
time avoiding anyone who does them as well.  My parents slipped
into the narrow groove of legalism and found its predictability quite
soothing."

"There's
something instinctive about turning a belief system into a checklist
and faith into a formula.  It's also easy to distill beliefs
into programs and rituals that substitute for true intimacy with God.
 When God gives you children, you head to church to see if
someone has some answers in a prepackaged and predictable plan for
turning them into strong Christian kids."

How
do you walk away from that kind of legalism, either what you grew up
with yourself, or what you have already imposed on your own children?
 First you have to recognize it for what it is.  Then you
have to form a picture in your mind of what you want instead.  What
does grace look like to you?  What does it need to look like to
your children?

"One
thing I knew:  I didn't want my children to grow up in a home
where they felt that God's pleasure was determined by their behavior.
 Nor did I want them to feel that there was no latitude in how
they lived out the different nuances of their personalities.
 Strident parenting formulas have a bad habit of using spiritual
molds to create look-alike, sound-like, and act-alike Christian kids.
 I wasn't interested in that.  It ran counter to the way
God operates in his grander relationship with His creation.  There's
nothing about that kind of plan for parenting that encourages an
original relationship with God, let along original kids."

After
20 years in the Christian home schooling movement, it is easy to see
the kind of peer pressure on parents to make their families conform
to some outward ideal or standard.  I certainly got sucked into
this for a while, and unfortunately, I even promoted much of it in my
own writing.  This is ironic, since one of the beauties of home
schooling is supposed to be the freedom to be creative to meet the
needs of your own children.  And yet like Dr. Kimmel says,
somehow home schooling gets turned into a lifestyle checklist of
sorts.  Ultra-conservative curriculum with Bible verses
sprinkled liberally (oops, that's a bad word, isn't it?) throughout?
 Check!  Ban network TV, Disney videos, and all secular
music?  Check!  Girls wearing home-sewn skirts and dresses
and preparing to be only wives and moms?  Check!  Courtship
only? Check!  Go to church with a bunch of home schoolers?
 Check! Homesteading?  Che...  No, wait, I never got
to that one, though I have made my own yogurt and once or twice I
attempted to grow strawberries and tomatoes!  And we have a pet
bunny. Does that count?  To be honest, we never did completely comply with
all of those rules.  But they sure looked attractive, and we
sure dabbled in them!   And there are many good things to be
said about living that way. Unfortunately, we also made it seem like
outward performance was what really mattered.  Compliance with
our sometimes arbitrary rules was mandatory, and dissent or even
reasonable appeal sometimes brought swift and harsh parental
judgment.  We're still working our way out of these negative
patterns of parenting.  It's hard when it is ingrained!

I
just looked up from my keyboard to see my 17 year old daughter
sitting on my bed across from me with her sketchpad.  Today she
drew a potted plant, a green apple and an onion on the dining room
table.  Now there seems to be no model in sight for her to draw
-- except for me?!?  Yes, she is sketching me!
 I'm curious to know how she sees me, her 48 year old mother
with tired eyes and gray hairs popping out left and right.  She
is giggling, telling me that her drawing is "humorously bad."
 But I'm even more curious to know how she sees the inside of
me. Hopefully it is not humorously bad.   Does she see a passion
for living and loving well?  Does she see a heart of acceptance
and grace?  Does she see her own value and worth reflecting in
my eyes?  Does she see someone she can trust and respect?  I
hope so!

"Grace-based
parenting works from the inside out. Fear-based parenting
works from the outside in.... Grace-based families are
homes where children are given:

1.
The freedom to be different

2.
The freedom to be vulnerable

3.
The freedom to be candid

4.
The freedom to make mistakes"

The
next four chapters of the book cover these four freedoms.  In
this post, I'd like to go over the first two, the freedom to be
different and the freedom to be vulnerable.

(To read the rest of this article, click here: A Delivery System for Grace and The Freedom to Be Different and Vulnerable 

LINKS FROM MY BLOGS

Here they are for your reading pleasure, in order by category and my favorites...

Decorating and Organizing the Home

Encouragement and Ministry
My Kids and Grandkids

Don't forget to add your links to my Equip & Encourage Blog Carnival!

I'd love to hear your thoughts so please either reply to this e-mail or leave a comment on a blog post!

Grace -- and a happy summer -- to you!


Virginia Knowles

--

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