Doc's Daily Chuckle 5/28/14
Quote from Forum Archives on May 28, 2014, 10:33 pmPosted by: drpkaine <drpkaine@...>
DOC'S DAILY CHUCKLE
Always Clean Chuckles
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
________________________________________
Please feel welcome to forward this email to your
friends, inviting them to become a member of the
Doc's Daily Chuckle family!
If you got this from a friend and would like your own
copy sent to you regularly, please sign up at
docsdailychuckle-join@welovegod.org
________________________________________
From Archie. I recommend his uplifting e-mail.
Doc
Today's Chuckles
1. You've Had Too Much Coffee When...
2. Fire Safety Training
------------------------------
You've Had Too Much Coffee When...
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.
- You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
- You spend your vacations visiting "Maxwell House"
- You ski uphill.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
- You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
- You speed walk in your sleep.
- The Nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
- You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
- Your first-aid kit contains 2-pints of coffee with an I-V hookup.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
- You lick your coffee pot clean.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- All your kids are named "Joe"
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low"
- You buy 1/2 and 1/2 by the barrel.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- When someone asks, "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- from Laugh and Lift
------------------------------
Archie, who has become my right hand man, regularly sends an
uplifting e-mail. You would just need to cut-and-paste the
new uplifting e-mail www.spiritisup.com/asap.html
He also now sends out gospel music 5 days a week plus
takes requests. Just send an email to the e-mail address
below with which you would like to have in the subject
line. To Subscribe just send an email with subscribe in
the subject line to HeIsLordTo@aol.com
------------------------------
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is
to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside
your body. - Elizabeth Stone
------------------------------
Fire Safety Training
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar,
they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate
an extinguisher.
"Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "and then press
the trigger to release the foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in
the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.
The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin ... and hurled the
extinguisher at the blaze.
- from GCFL.net
--------
Please pray for: Mary Ann, Annie, Terri, Steve, Brent, Lange, Inez, Lindsay.
=================
Have a TERRIFIC day!
If you need to leave, do so at: docsdailychuckle-leave@welovegod.org
If you need to change your address, send the old address to the leave address
and the new address to the join e-mail at the top.
To unsubscribe, e-mail: docsdailychuckle-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
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Posted by: drpkaine <drpkaine@...>
DOC'S DAILY CHUCKLE
Always Clean Chuckles
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
________________________________________
Please feel welcome to forward this email to your
friends, inviting them to become a member of the
Doc's Daily Chuckle family!
If you got this from a friend and would like your own
copy sent to you regularly, please sign up at
docsdailychuckle-join@welovegod.org
________________________________________
From Archie. I recommend his uplifting e-mail.
Doc
Today's Chuckles
1. You've Had Too Much Coffee When...
2. Fire Safety Training
------------------------------
You've Had Too Much Coffee When...
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you.
- You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
- You spend your vacations visiting "Maxwell House"
- You ski uphill.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
- You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
- You speed walk in your sleep.
- The Nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You help your dog chase its tail.
- You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.
- Your first-aid kit contains 2-pints of coffee with an I-V hookup.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
- You lick your coffee pot clean.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- All your kids are named "Joe"
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low"
- You buy 1/2 and 1/2 by the barrel.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- When someone asks, "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- from Laugh and Lift
------------------------------
Archie, who has become my right hand man, regularly sends an
uplifting e-mail. You would just need to cut-and-paste the
new uplifting e-mail http://www.spiritisup.com/asap.html
He also now sends out gospel music 5 days a week plus
takes requests. Just send an email to the e-mail address
below with which you would like to have in the subject
line. To Subscribe just send an email with subscribe in
the subject line to HeIsLordTo@aol.com
------------------------------
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is
to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside
your body. - Elizabeth Stone
------------------------------
Fire Safety Training
When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar,
they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate
an extinguisher.
"Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "and then press
the trigger to release the foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in
the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.
The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin ... and hurled the
extinguisher at the blaze.
- from GCFL.net
--------
Please pray for: Mary Ann, Annie, Terri, Steve, Brent, Lange, Inez, Lindsay.
=================
Have a TERRIFIC day!
If you need to leave, do so at: docsdailychuckle-leave@welovegod.org
If you need to change your address, send the old address to the leave address
and the new address to the join e-mail at the top.
To unsubscribe, e-mail: docsdailychuckle-unsubscribe@welovegod.org
For additional commands, e-mail: docsdailychuckle-help@welovegod.org