GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS FOR A PASTOR
Posted by: root <root@...>
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote
it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee
to find somebody capable of filling the position.
Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things
exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," "Beavis and
Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."
Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.
Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They won't buy the ticket until the next war.
Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed your superior in the denomination.
Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise
visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are armed with toilet
paper and shaving cream to "decorate" your house.
-*-
A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone here know what we
mean by 'sins of omission'?"
A small girl replied: "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but
didn't?"
-*-
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