Quote from Forum Archives on March 21, 2007, 7:21 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Making Faces"

 

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

 

Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

 

Bobby looked up and innocently replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

 

 

 "Why Parents Drink"

 

 

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

 

"Hello."

 

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

 

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

 

May I talk with him?

 

The child whispered, "No."

 

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy
there?"

 

"Yes."

 

"May I talk with her?"

 

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

 

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the
boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

 

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

 

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?

 

No, he's busy", whispered the child.

 

"Busy doing what?"

 

"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

 

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

 

"A helicopter" answered the whispering voice.

 

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

 

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the
helicopter."

 

Alarmed, concerned, and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they
searching for?"

 

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:

 

"ME."

 

 

"Holy Land Trip"

 

 

Morris goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and
mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. They go to an undertaker who
explains that they can ship the body home but that it'll cost over
$5000, whereas they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150.

 

Morris says, "We'll ship her home."
The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and
we can do a very nice burial here."

 

Morris says, "Look, 2000 years ago you buried a guy here and three days
later he rose from the dead. I just refuse to take that kind of chance.

 

 

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

 

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