Minister's Sunday School Lesson Monday

#1 · March 5, 2007, 11:02 am

Quote from Forum Archives on March 5, 2007, 11:02 am
Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>
"Minister's Sunday School Lesson"

He told the children about sheep, that they weren't smart and needed
lots of guidance, and that a shepherd's job was to stay close to the
sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off
and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed.

He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were
the sheep and needed lots of guidance.

Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic
gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, "If you are the
sheep then who is the shepherd?" He was pretty obviously indicating
himself.

A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said, "Jesus,
Jesus is the shepherd."

The young minister, obviously caught by surprise, said to the boy,
"Well, then, who am I?"

The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug "I guess
you must be a sheep dog."

"What It Means"

Five year old Becky answered the door when the Census taker came by.

She told the Census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home, because he was performing an appendectomy.

"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?"

"Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anaesthesiologist!"

"What The Teacher Really Would Like to Say"

1. Since my last report, the student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. This student has delusions of adequacy.

4. The student sets low personal standards and then occasionally fails to achieve them.

5. Student has been working with glue too much.

6. When the student's IQ reaches 50, he/she should sell.

7. Student has a photogenic memory but the lens cover is glued on.

8. The 'Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

9. If you give the student a penny for his/her thoughts, you would get change.

10. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

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Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Minister's Sunday School Lesson"

He told the children about sheep, that they weren't smart and needed
lots of guidance, and that a shepherd's job was to stay close to the
sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off
and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed.

He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were
the sheep and needed lots of guidance.

Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic
gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, "If you are the
sheep then who is the shepherd?" He was pretty obviously indicating
himself.

A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said, "Jesus,
Jesus is the shepherd."

The young minister, obviously caught by surprise, said to the boy,
"Well, then, who am I?"

The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug "I guess
you must be a sheep dog."

"What It Means"

Five year old Becky answered the door when the Census taker came by.

She told the Census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home, because he was performing an appendectomy.

"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?"

"Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anaesthesiologist!"

"What The Teacher Really Would Like to Say"

1. Since my last report, the student has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. This student has delusions of adequacy.

4. The student sets low personal standards and then occasionally fails to achieve them.

5. Student has been working with glue too much.

6. When the student's IQ reaches 50, he/she should sell.

7. Student has a photogenic memory but the lens cover is glued on.

8. The 'Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

9. If you give the student a penny for his/her thoughts, you would get change.

10. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Have a Blessed Day
Dave and Barbara

Necessary Legal Information

We do not mail clean-hewmor unsolicited. If you are receiving this newsletter from us it's because you have subscribed to this mailing list. If you receive this newsletter and are not a subscriber then someone, other than us, has forwarded it to you.

Normal Subscribe: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org
Normal Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Web Subscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-subscribe@welovegod.org
Web Unsubscribe: clean-hewmor-allow-unsubscribe@welovegod.org

Email Group Owner: clean-hewmor-owner@welovegod.org

Clean-Hewmor is only as good as the humor YOU contribute.  Please take a few moments to send something funny so we can all get a good laugh! -- To unsubscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-unsubscribe@welovegod.org To subscribe, send ANY message to: clean-hewmor-subscribe@welovegod.org>