Quote from Forum Archives on April 26, 2007, 11:17 am

Posted by: bigguyhereagain <bigguyhereagain@...>

"Pinch Runner Needed"

 

A HORSE SHOWED up at a baseball training camp and asked for a tryout. The manager was shocked! Not only was this a talking horse, but he wanted to play baseball.

 

So he put the horse in the outfield, where the horse caught all the balls hit to him. In the infield, he always made the right play.

 

When it came time to bat in a game, the horse hit a long line drive between the outfielders. But then the horse just stood at the plate.

 

"Run!" the manager shouted. "Run!"

 

The horse turned to the manager and said, "If I could run, I’d be at the race track."

 

"Late Every Day"

 

 

Tom was in his early 50s, retired and started a second career. However,
he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was five,
10, 15 minutes late. But, he was a good worker and real sharp, so the
boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it.

 

Finally, one day he called Tom into his office for a talk. "Tom, I have
to tell you, I like your work ethic. You do a bang- up job, but your
being late so often is quite bothersome."

 

"Yes, I know boss and I am working on it."

 

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd
though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force.
What did they say if you came in late there"?

 

"They said, 'Good morning, General.'"

 

 

"Sahara Desert"

 

A man is lost in the Sahara desert. He used up the last of his water three days ago and he's lying, gasping, on the sand, when in the distance he suddenly hears a voice calling, "Mush! Mush!"

 

Not trusting his ears he turns his head and there it is again, closer this time  "Mush! Mush!" Propping himself up on one elbow he squints against the sun and sees, of all things, an Eskimo bundled up in furs driving a sled with a team of huskies across the dunes.

 

Thinking that it's a hallucination, he blinks and shakes his head, but it's for real! He painfully lifts one arm and in a cracked voice calls, "He-elp!"

 

The Eskimo pulls the sled up by him, the huskies panting in the heat, and he says to the Eskimo, "I don't know what you're doing here, or why, but thank God you are! I've been wandering around this desert for days, my water's all gone and I'm completely lost!"

 

The perspiring Eskimo looks down at him and says, "YOU'RE lost?!"

 

Have a Blessed Weekend

Dave and Barbara

 

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